


Lost and Found too Late

by GreenCat42



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Langst, M/M, Torture, Violence, and a little angsty, but i'm updating the tags finally, klance, there's warnings on each chapter, yeah this is going to be sad at first
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-09-20 19:43:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 22,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9510053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenCat42/pseuds/GreenCat42
Summary: Sure they needed to bond, but Keith was just as tight lipped and grumpy as ever and Lance was sick of his sharp words. When the two of them were sent to retrieve an ore for the ship, everything falls apart.Lance is kidnapped at knife point and Keith has to run away on Red. The question Lance was too afraid to listen to was whether or not he'd even be rescued.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Because I have no heart, (or at least an ice cold one) I've gotten into my head to write another angst fic. It's set after the season 2 ending and I'll have to magically figure out how they rescued Shiro. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Chapter 1.

 

             Allura sent them together on a mission to ‘bond’ as she said. Keith grumbled low about dealing with that flirty idiot. He didn’t know that Lance heard his words, his heart cracking just a little. “Which lion are we taking?” Keith said his arms in his normal crossed across his chest position.

            “Red’s faster,” Lance said with a shrug.

            Keith rolled his eyes and sighed. “Fine, let’s go.”

            Lance followed behind him, keeping a bit of a distance, odd for the boy. Normally he was right up in everyone’s space, small touches; it was annoying. They walked up into Red’s mouth and Keith settled into his chair, while Lance stood behind him.

            Allura popped up to his right through the com. “Alright paladins, this should be pretty simple and straight forward. There’s a mining colony on the planet Hyrnan that has fesium ore we need to fix a few parts on the ship. From what we’ve learned, it’s not Galra controlled, but be careful. The castle needs about ten yumins of it. See you soon paladins!”

            The window popped downwards and the bay door opened into space. Keith maneuvered Red out into space, a bright purple wormhole popping up nearby. “I want this to go smoothly and quickly,” Keith growled. “No flirting, just get the fesium and go.”

            Lance saluted Keith sloppily and grinned. “Aye aye captain.”

            _‘I wonder why it’s important that I even go,’_ Lance thought as they flew through the wormhole. _‘Keith could go on his own.’_

            Allura had said they needed to get along better, but the way Keith was acting, that would be impossible. “Hey are you asleep back there?” Keith asked.

            “Nah, just thinking.”

            “Does your brain hurt? I mean it’s not like you think much.”

            Lance recoiled, his spine stiffening from the sharp words. “I was a fighter pilot at the Garrison, and I didn’t drop out like a loser!” Lance snapped.

            “Yeah, yeah. Calling me a dropout is getting old, not that I care.”

            Lance clenched his fists tight, nails digging into the palms of his hand. _‘Punching Keith is not the way to go about anything.’_

            “Look we’re here.”

            Hyrnan was a small planet, with green clouds and lush purple landscape. Mines marred the planet’s surface, dug deep, jagged ridges of dark gray earth sticking out. Keith piloted Red to the ground. “Okay, let’s go get what the Princess wants.”

            Lance followed Keith out of Red without a word, still fuming from his earlier jabs. Heat rose to meet them, hot and wet when they left Red. She closed up, her red particle barrier encircling her. Lance began to sweat under his paladin armor, his cropped hair sticking to his helmet. It wasn’t known whether or not Hyrnan had breathable air, so both boys kept their helmets on.

            The inhabitants of Hyrnan were short stocky individuals with green skin and red blotches in intricate patterns over their faces and arms. “Hello, we’re paladins of Voltron. We need ten yumins of fesium ore. We can pay for it,” Keith said.

            One of the aliens walked over, looking both paladins over with critical orange eyes. “Paladins of Voltron, that’s not something we hear much about these days,” he said, his voice deep and gravely.

            Lance let Keith do all the talking, partially because he decided if Keith was going to mess it up, he wasn’t going to help him. “Come with me, we’ll get you your fesium ore, names Yariqu”

            The two paladins followed him down an unsteady ramp into the mine. A funny feeling crept into Lance’s chest. Something didn’t feel right. He noticed there weren't any other aliens and the mine was quiet. “Keith,” Lance whispered.

            “What?” he snapped.

            “I don’t think this is a good idea.”    

            “Why?” Keith whispered back.

            “I’m getting a funny feeling about this.”

            Surprisingly Lance was right. When they reached the bottom of the mine, there was a group of other aliens all holding weapons. “The Galra will pay handsomely for two paladins and a lion,” Yariqu said.

            Keith pulled out his bayard, his sword materializing. Lance did the same, shouldering his gun. “You think you two can fight your way out? That’s cute.”     

            Anger bubbled in Lance’s chest. “We’re trying to rid the universe of the Galra and you’re playing right into their hand!” Lance yelled.

            “We’ve been selling them ore for hundreds of years, willingly.”

            Lance aimed at Yariqu ready to shoot him. Keith leapt right into things before thinking, as usual. He cut through their weapons, trying to disarm, and knock out, not kill. _‘Let’s hope this thing has a stun option,’_ Lance thought shooting straight at Yariqu.

            His shot was a different color, shocking Yariqu and making him fall to the ground. Now, he could get to work.

            Lance was too busy watching Keith’s back to notice one of the aliens creep up on him and grabbed him, holding a knife to his throat. “Throw your bayard,” the deep voice growled. “Or I cut right through your throat.”

            He did as he was told, tossing his bayard to the ground, his gun shrinking back in. The knife held to Lance’s throat pressed tighter, cutting through the black under armor fabric and into his skin. Keith turned, the other aliens knocked out. He panted trying to catch his breath. “We got them,” he said turning towards Lance.

“Go Keith!”

            Keith’s eyes widened his bayard sword disappearing. “No Lance, I can’t leave you.”

            Tears pricked Lance’s eyes. It wasn’t like they couldn’t replace him easily, Blue would have a new paladin, a better one. “Take my bayard and get out of here!” Lance said.

             Keith had a clear get away. “I’ll come back for you!”

He gritted his teeth clearly upset, grabbed Lance’s bayard and ran.

            “Come on, move it,” Yariqu said.

            Keeping the knife at his throat, they maneuvered downwards into a cave. There his hands were handcuffed to a long chain that was cemented into the wall. “Don’t get any ideas about escaping.”

            _‘I just hope Keith comes back,’_ Lance thought.

 

+++

 

            Lance had no idea how much time had passed. His tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth, but at least his stomach had stopped growling. _‘They’re not coming back for me,’_ Lance thought. _‘It’s ok, I wasn’t useful.’_

            He refused to let the tears stinging his eyes fall, and ignored the dry lump in his throat. Blue would have a better paladin, someone who was useful. He slumped downwards, trying to curl into a comfortable spot on the hard ground.

            His wrists hurt, chaffed through his gloves, his arms, and shoulders aching. A shadow fell over him, and he opened his eyes. “Looks like you have a buyer.”      

            Someone walked up behind him, long white hair flowing in the wind. “Hello paladin, I am Prince Lotor.”

            Two Galra soldiers dragged Lance towards their ship, Lotor strolling ahead. There was no point in struggling, he had no weapon, no lion, no friends.

            He was pulled through the ship, down a hallway and into a dimly lit room. His chains were tied off onto a bar. “Leave us,” Lotor commanded.

            Both guards saluted. “Vrepit Sa.”

            Lance slumped over, his legs splayed underneath him. He was numb, not caring what happened to him. Boots came into his vision and his chain was yanked hard. “Well, I have a paladin of Voltron for my own self,” he said forcing Lance to lean back and look up at him.

            His teeth were sharp white points, glittering in the artificial light. Lance had heard of Lotor from their previous battles when searching for Shiro. The predatory gaze from his bright yellow eyes made Lance shiver. “I am rather excited to talk to a real paladin, what is your name blue paladin?” he asked reaching out with one hand, gripping Lance’s face tight.

            Lance gazed dully at him, not caring, or opening his mouth. Lotor’s long claws dug into his face, small cuts marring his skin, blood seeping out. “I asked you what your name was, answer me,” Lotor hissed, his eyes narrowing.

            “Does it matter?” Lance rasped. “You’re just going to torture and kill me.”

            “I might play with you a little at least. You don’t seem to think you’ll be rescued,” Lotor said confusion briefly flashing in his eyes.

            A dry painful laugh erupted from Lance. “I’m useless, just the joker and entertainment. They don’t need me,” Lance said, his voice cracking.

            Lotor released his face, letting Lance relax. “You’ll still provide to be useful.”

            His words made fear snake down Lance’s spin, ice cold. “I will be back soon little paladin.”

            The door swished open and shut leaving Lance alone. _‘I’m scared,’_ he thought tears leaking out of his eyes. _‘How can I do this? I’m not brave like Shiro, or smart like Pidge.’_

            He curled up as best as he could, wishing with all his might he was home where he belonged.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this is from Keith's pov (I'm gonna switch back and forth chapter to chapter, because I find it more interesting. I hope it doesn't confuse anyone) 
> 
> I know it took me a while to get this chapter out, and I'm sorry. My readers are so patient! (Also, that's what I get for writing multiple fics haha). 
> 
> Anywhos, enjoy!

Chapter 2.

 

            Panic flooded Keith, he couldn’t believe he was leaving Lance, but he had no choice. Tears pricked his eyes and he ran faster. Red came into view, roaring her tail lashing out. She sensed he was scared. “We have to go rescue him,” Keith said.

            That’s when he saw a ship coming through the atmosphere. Black and purple, it was a Galra battleship. Keith knew he wouldn’t have time to go rescue Lance, it had nearly landed. Gritting his teeth, he climbed into Red and piloted away. “Allura, come in. I need a wormhole right away,” he called pulling up the com.

            “Right away,” she replied.

            “Allura, Lance got kidnapped,” he said his voice breaking. “I’m sorry.”

            “What! Go get him!” she yelled.

            “I can’t, there’s a Galra battleship landing, the aliens here were working with the Galra the whole time.”

            “Without Lance, you can’t form Voltron, hurry.”

            _‘Idiot, how could you do this,’_ Keith thought.

            He had been ecstatic to spend more time with Lance, but he always closed up around Lance. Because he was always nervous around the easy-going paladin, his words were always sharp and he eternally said the wrong thing.

            Keith managed to stay out of sight of the Galra ship, flying into space. A wormhole opened up and he flew inside.

            The castle awaited him and he swiftly landed Red, climbing out of her. A roar from Blue echoed across the hanger, like she knew Lance was in trouble.

 Running, Keith hurried towards the bridge. The other paladins were waiting, along with Allura and Coran. “I want to be the one leading the rescue,” Keith said.

            Shiro’s eyebrows flew upwards, surprise on his face. “Are you sure Keith?” he asked.

            “It’s my fault he got taken,” Keith said trying to keep the guilt at bay. “We need to go now!”

            “You can’t form Voltron without Lance!” Allura said.

            Alarms began to blare red lights flashing. “What’s going on?” she cried turning around.

            Coran raced to the controls. “It’s a Galra fleet,” he said panic in his voice.

            “Get to your lions,” Shiro commanded.

            “What about Lance?” Keith yelled. “We can’t leave him alone!”

            “We won’t Keith, I promise,” Shiro said settling a hand on his shoulder. “We need to protect the castle, so we can go rescue him. Now go.”

            All Keith could think about as he ran to his lion was the fact that Lance was waiting for them. His hands shook at the controls, but he knew the sooner they took care of the Galra, the sooner they could get to Lance

            It was a mess outside in space. Fighter drones clustered together, shooting at the lions and the castle. Keith maneuvered Red shooting back, explosions lighting up the darkness of space. The battleship was heading towards the castle, it’s ion canon flaring up. Hunk rammed his lion into the ion canon, battering it and making a huge indent. He rammed it again, crumpling the metal. Keith flew next to him flames melting it even further.

            If the castle was damaged, there was no way they could get to Lance soon enough. “You doing ok?” Shiro’s voice came over the com.

            “I’m fine,” he said his words sharp and short. “Concentrate on finishing this.”

            “We’re all worried about him you know,” Shiro said his voice gentle.

            He knew. The look Hunk gave him made his heart clench, worry, fear, it was all clear on his face. Pidge was worried, but she was focused.

            The battle didn’t last long, despite their inability to form Voltron. “Good job paladins, lets head back to the castle,” Shiro said over the com.

            When Keith landed Red, he walked over to Blue. She rumbled her discontent. “I know, you miss Lance,” he murmured. “I do too.”

            The battle had been quieter without Lance. His witty banter over the coms made their battles a little easier, less tense. Other than Shiro’s orders, they had quietly fought. “You ok Keith?” Shiro asked.

            Keith turned, watching the Black Paladin head towards him. “Yeah, just checking on Blue. She misses Lance.”

            “How can you tell?”

            Keith shrugged his shoulders and turned away from Blue. He headed to find Allura. They needed to go rescue Lance. Allura was on the bridge looking through files. “We need to go find Lance,” Keith said determined.

            “We are on our way already Keith. You know I wouldn’t waste time to find the missing blue paladin did you?”

            Keith’s gaze focused on the floor. “Sorry, I’m just worried. The Galra empire would love to get its hands on a paladin,” he muttered.

            “That’s why we’re heading towards Hyrnan right now, it’ll take some time.”  
            “Can’t we just wormhole through?” 

            “Since you didn’t obtain the ore we needed, it’ll take a little longer to travel there. You should get some sleep Keith. You’ll need it since you were there, we’ll need you to show the other paladins the location.”

            “K, nite Allura.”

            The walk to his quarters seemed long and tiring, even though the length hadn’t changed. The door to his quarters hissed open and Keith walked inside, his feet dragging. _‘Why did I just leave him. We could’ve won,’_ Keith thought guilt eating away in his chest.

            Curling up on his bed, Keith tried to get some sleep.

 

+++

 

            “Attention paladins, we’ve arrived at Hyrnan, get to your lions,” Allura commanded over the com.

            Keith had barely slept, dreams of Lance haunting him. “You look terrible,” Pidge said when she saw Keith.

            “Thanks,” he grumbled. “I love having my appearance commented on regularly.”

            “Quit being so emo,” Pidge drawled. “You’re such a drama king.”

            “I’m not emo, I’m broody. There’s a difference Pidge,” Keith growled. “Just get into your lion.”

            “Touchy today aren’t we.”

            “Keith, Pidge quit your bickering and get moving,” Shiro chided.

            “Yes Dad,” Keith said, sarcasm coloring his voice.

            “Keith.”

            There was more force in Shiro’s voice and Keith didn’t push him any further, climbing into Red. She purred in his mind, trying to comfort her worried and exhausted paladin. “Thanks Red,” Keith murmured patting the control bars.

            The lions flew down to the surface of the planet, landing as close to the mine as they dared. Keith led the rest of the group down to the mine, weapons drawn. “Are you sure this is the right one?” Shiro whispered.

            “Yeah, that’s the one that attacked Lance,” Keith said his voice low.

            They ambushed the aliens. Keith’s anger rose dark and harsh in his chest. He pressed his bayard blade into the throat of one of the aliens. “Where is Lance?” he yelled. “I want him freed.”

            “Who?” they stammered, eyes wide in fear.

            “The Blue Paladin, I will kill you if you don’t tell me!”

            “He-he’s gone. Sold.”

            “Keith let them go.”

            “They sold him!” Keith roared, the urge to kill rising in his chest.

            “The-the Galra, they sold him to the Galra. Lotor, I-I saw him.”

            Keith shoved the alien to the ground, a frown marring his face. “Shiro, we have to find Lotor. He has Lance.”

            “Lotor? That insane Galra prince?” Hunk whimpered. “Lance is in his clutches? That is not good.”

            Tears filled Hunk’s eyes, worry making his lips tremble. Pidge patted his shoulder, her face equally worried. “We’ll find him Hunk and make him pay if he hurts Lance.”

            The guilt that ate away at Keith grew even worse, his whole body shaking. “Keith, are you ok?” Shiro asked.

            “I’m fine, we need to get back to the castle. Allura can search for Lotor’s ship. The sooner we get off this planet, the sooner we find Lance,” Keith snapped, turning, and heading back to Red.

            The other paladins exchanged looks. They weren’t only worried about Lance. “He didn’t sleep last night, did he?” Shiro whispered.

            “No, not if those shadows under his eyes are any indication,” Pidge replied.

            “He blames himself for Lance’s capture doesn’t he,” Hunk said watching the back of the red paladin grow smaller.

            Shiro sighed and rubbed his face. “I’ll talk to him, let’s go.”

            The rest of the paladins headed back to their lions.

           


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning this chapter has a lot of violence and torture in it. I have this fic tagged as mature and graphic depictions of violence, but I still prefer warning my readers when there will be specific chapters with it. 
> 
> To be honest, this was one of the hardest chapters I've written. I don't have a lot of experience writing violence, but it's a good experience as a writer in general. I hope my readers won't be too harsh and don't worry it might get happier maybe?

Chapter 3.

 

            Alone, Lance was alone. Dimly lit lights filled the room, he had no idea if it was day or night. His wrists still ached making it hard to sleep. Still, Lance tried, closing his eyes.

            The door to his cell swished open and footsteps came closer to him. A clawed hand lifted his chin, Lotor had returned. He wasn’t alone, a tall thin hooded figure with a mask floated next to him. “Good day paladin. I want to know where the Castle of Lions is and how to infiltrate it,” Lotor said.

            “Go to hell,” Lance spat. “Like I’d tell you any of that.”

            “Very well.”

            He unhooked the chain from the wall. “We’re going on a little trip.”

            Lance was dragged down several corridors, sentries guarding the walls. A door swished open and he was brought into another room, with a flat table on it. Machines lined the table, each one with a different device. Lance dug his heels in, eyes wide. Two Galra soldiers grabbed his arms, forcing him forward. One hand was uncuffed, then the other and although he struggled, he was forced onto the table. His hands were latched first, then his legs. Bright lights shone down at him, his pulse racing.

            “Now, I’ll ask the question again. Where is the Castle of Lions? How do I infiltrate it?”

            He kept his mouth shut. Granted, Lance didn’t know where the castle was, but he wasn’t going to tell Lotor that. The hooded masked creature floated forwards. Dark energy crackled at the edges of their gloved fingers. “Answer His Highness,” came an unearthly voice.

            “No!”

            Lance had never been struck by lightning, but this, this had to be worse. The energy crackled through his system making his nerves scream. He arched his back, a scream ripping from his throat.

            When it stopped, Lance slumped back on the table, sweat beading his skin. “Tell me.”

            “I don’t know anything,” he yelled.

            Three more times Lance endured the excruciating pain from the dark energy. His body trembled, sweat dripping down his face. The lights above him swam, flickering. “Hook him up to the machine.”

            A Galra technician pulled a machine away from the wall, long wires hanging from it. Lance winced when one by one, long needles were inserted into his arms. When a metal circular was placed over his head, Lance panicked. Tears filled his eyes, slipping down to wet his hair. He had to get out of here, he had to escape, but it was impossible.

Pidge or even Hunk could figure out how the mechanics worked and escape. Keith would’ve just beat everyone up looking cool while at it. Lance only had his wit and his charm.

            “Send for the medics. I want to begin tests,” the hooded creature rasped. “Then he will tell us all he knows.”

            “I told you,” Lotor hissed, an evil grin curling on his lips. “I will return.”

            The hooded creature stayed and Lotor strode out of the room, the door hissing open and shut. “I don’t know anything,” Lance whispered, his throat raw.

            “I do not care. You are now a test subject for the Galra empire.”

            “You think you can break me that easily?” Lance snapped. “I’m too tough, I’m a fighter pilot and a paladin of Voltron. Good luck!”

            His voice broke a little, but he was lying through his teeth. “Your prattling is harsh on my ears.”

            “You think you can shut me up? I’m the best joker on Earth.”

            “Fetch a muzzle, one that will silence this insolent test subject,” one of the medics ordered.

            When he returned, he held a large piece of leather looking material. Four barbs were stuck at the back. “This is so you can not remove it.”

            Lance shuddered, his eyes wide. Blood trickled down his face when they put it over his mouth and tied it at the back. Tears filled his eyes, but there was nothing he could do. Now he couldn’t even crack a joke. “Moving onwards, test subject will now be inserted with three liquids to see reactions.”

            The third liquid made him pass out, only to be brought back to life gasping for air through his nose. “Test Subject experienced an odd sensation, also heart rate went near cardiac arrest. Continue.”

            It kept going on and on.

 

+++

 

            There was no concept of time for Lance. The only constant was when he was fed, the only time the muzzle was removed. “Please let me die,” he rasped.

            The tube was shoved down his throat making him gag, then fluids pumped into his stomach. It did no good to struggle. His jaw had been broken the first time he tried to starve himself. It still ached at times, nothing compared to the pain he’d endured. Every time they put the muzzle back on, the wounds on his face were re-opened.

On and on, day after day, Lance was subjected to tests of all kinds. The Druids came and went, taking the samples the Galra medics took. He was injected with a golden liquid daily. It burned through Lance’s system like fire, blazing and hot.

             When he could sleep, he dreamed of cheeseburgers, nachos, even the green goo. Water, Lance missed water, so much it hurt. He remembered the ocean and swimming, engulfed in the warm waters. _‘I’ll never see my family again,’_ Lance thought. _‘I’m going to die here, alone.’_

            Whenever Lance passed out during a procedure, he was revived moments later, then the procedure continued. Any hope he carried of being rescued was long gone.

            The medics were performing some tests as usual, when the door swished open and Lotor came in. He grinned, predatory and evil, coming close and running a finger down Lance’s face.  “How the mighty blue paladin has fallen,” his oily disdainful voice penetrated Lance’s foggy mind.

Anger tried so hard to come through Lance, he wanted to growl and glare at the evil Galra standing next to him, but he was numb. So numb now. His glowing yellow eyes focused on Lance’s eyes, something flickering in his gaze.  “I want his eyes, they are the perfect shade of blue,” Lotor said.

            Lance’s muffled screams rose into the air, tears leaking down his cheeks. _‘No, no, not my eyes,’_ Lance thought.

            He arched his back, using what little strength he had to push at his restraints. They held and Lance watched while the medics began the preparations, Lotor standing next to them. “I want to see your face when they take what is mine.”

            They carved out his left eye first, pain, excruciating pain. His nerves were on fire, exhaustion rolling through his system. No anesthesia, or medications to numb the burning, only pain. They took out his right eye next, leaving him in complete darkness. It was maddening, his other senses becoming sensitive. A soft warm breath of air on his ear made him jolt. “I will treasure these forever,” Lotor whispered. “You are mine paladin, remember that.”

            Lance shook his head furiously wishing he could scream no, I will never be yours. Since Lance couldn’t see, he had to rely on his ears to tell him what the medics were doing. Murmurs in Galran filled his ears. More needles, drawing fluids, inserting fluids. The flaring fire was the golden liquid they inserted each day.

            Lance barely fought anymore when they removed his muzzle to feed him. It was too much anymore. “Test Subject has performed well without sight. Next is adding Galra prosthetic.”

            _‘I wonder how Shiro endured this,’_ Lance thought.

            Something was inserted into his eye socket, the whirring sounds of machinery around him, then another. “Surgery was a success, proceed with experiment.”

            Images flickered in front of Lance, but he couldn’t blink. His eyelids were pulled open, but he could see. Purple lines and Galra text floated in front of him, focusing. A screen next to one of the medics showed what he saw, it was creepy. “Insertion of mechanical eyes a success. Test subject has adjusted with low shock. Move onto next stage.”

            _‘I can see, but I don’t have my eyes anymore,’_ Lance thought.

               He didn’t have the eyes he shared with his Mama anymore, the color reminding him of the ocean. He wasn’t himself anymore. Lance tried to cry, but no tears came.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone who's commented, given kudos, and just read this fic. (It's a little surprising, but thank you :) ).
> 
> Enjoy the chapter! (I hope)
> 
> (edit: sorry, somehow it didn't format correctly, so I fixed it.)

Chapter 4.

 

            Finding Lotor wasn’t as easy as Keith thought it would be. When they were searching for Shiro, Lotor seemed to pop up everywhere. Now, he was nowhere to be found. “Keith, you need to sleep,” Pidge said when she found Keith pouring over a map on the bridge.

            “No, I can’t sleep.”

            “It wasn’t your fault.”

            “You don’t know that. I could’ve done something, but I didn’t. I ran, like a coward,” Keith said. “Blue won’t even speak to me.”

            “Blue talks to you?” Pidge said awe in her voice. “None of the other lions communicate with me, just Green.”

            “It’s not talking per se, just rumbles. Tonight though, silence. She misses Lance though,” Keith said with a sigh.

            “You miss him too don’t you.”

            It hurt to realize just how well their group worked, Lance was their heart. He kept things light and fun, his jokes breaking through the strain and seriousness of going against the Galra. “I do,” Keith whispered. “I’m so worried though. What if-what if the Lance we knew is gone?”

            His voice broke, eyes burning from unshed tears and fatigue. He hadn’t slept in two days, and even then, it wasn’t for more than a few hours at a time. “Not Lance,” Pidge said trying to reassure him. “C’mon, you need to sleep.”

            Keith let Pidge lead him back to his quarters. “I’ll talk to Coran and see if there’s any Altean medication equivalent to help you sleep.”

            “Thanks Pidge.”

            She gave him a small smile fiddling with her glasses. Everyone was tense without Lance, and it showed. Keith went and flopped on his bed. His eyes felt like sand was rubbed in his eyelids, but his mind kept moving. Closing his eyes, he tried to sleep. The images of Lance flashed in his head, the terror in his eyes. He’d promised to come back for him. Did Lance still believe they were coming for him? Curling up on his side, he let the tears flow, sobs racking his chest.

            Pidge found Shiro doing his nightly walk. “You’re up late,” Shiro said.     

            “I could say the same about you, another nightmare?” she asked.

            “Yeah,” Shiro said rubbing his arm.

            “I’m going to talk to Coran about sleeping medication. Alteans have to have an equivalent,” Pidge said. “Keith was looking at maps. I don’t think he’s sleeping.”

            “No, he spends his days training until he’s exhausted. I should talk to him.”

            “C’mon, it’s late, we can discuss this tomorrow,” Pidge said covering a yawn. “Both of us need sleep.”

            The next morning, Hunk found Keith in the mess hall staring at the green glop on his plate. “Are you ok?”

            Keith jolted, startled eyes focusing on Hunk. “Yea-yeah, fine,” he muttered.

            “Do you need to talk?” Hunk asked. “I miss him too.”

            He laid his head down on the table groaning. “I talked with Pidge, Shiro told me this morning I could talk to him if I needed, now you.”

            “S-sorry,” Hunk stammered fiddling with his fingers. “I-I just thought.”

            Guilt rose in Keith’s chest, not about Lance for once. “I’m sorry Hunk. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

            Pidge strode in, a light blue bottle in her hands. “I just got back from talking to Coran. He said this will knock you out for at least a day, and I want you to sleep,” she said thrusting the bottle in his hands. “I gave one to Shiro too.”

            Keith stared down at the bottle. “I can’t take this. I need to help find Lance.”

            Pidge took a deep breath and muttered numbers under her breath. “What are you doing Pidge?” Hunk asked.

            “Counting down from ten so I don’t throttle our resident red paladin,” Pidge grumbled.

            “I can’t sleep, don’t you understand!” Keith snarled. “All I see are nightmares. Do you know how many times I’ve woken up thinking I had blood on my hands? No! We’re no closer to finding him and I’m the only one worried that Lance is going to be dead before we find him, or worse!”

            Keith slammed the bottle on the table and stormed out. He headed towards the training deck. He was itching to slice through some battle droids. Stomping through the corridors, he almost ran into Shiro. “Woah Keith, slow down there,” Shiro said steadying him.

            Keith growled and slapped Shiro’s hand off him. “Leave me alone!”

            Anger rolled in his chest, he was sick of being babied by the other paladins. “Keith, stop. What’s wrong?”

            He whirled around. “What’s not wrong Shiro?” Keith burst out. “I can’t sleep, I barely eat. I didn’t know how much Lance meant to me until he got kidnapped for quiznak’s sake. I’m dying to know if he’s ok. What if he’s dead? Could you deal with that fact? Cause I sure as hell can’t.”

            Tears filled his eyes rolling down Keith’s cheeks. He was ashamed to cry, but his chest hurt and he was so angry at himself. Strong arms wrapped around him, pulling him close. “It’s ok Keith, let it all out.”

            “I left him, I should have saved him,” Keith sobbed, burying his face in Shiro’s chest. “I promised to come back for him, what if he thinks I abandoned him?”

            “No, Lance wouldn’t believe that. He’s too damn cheerful,” Shiro said rubbing Keith’s back.

            Still, Lotor was the exact opposite of kind. The paladins had seen the effects of his maliciousness first hand during one of their battles. “Lance is smart, he’ll find a way to escape and contact us.”

            Shiro was trying to comfort him, it did help, a little. He took a few deep breaths trying to calm down. “Thanks, Shiro.”

            “You shouldn’t bottle it all up inside, get those feelings out.”

            “Attention paladins, I’ve made headway on Lotor’s location,” Allura announced over the com.

            A tiny glimmer of hope rose in Keith’s chest. This was good, they’d find him and everything would be as it was before. Rubbing the tears from his face, Keith ran, ignoring Shiro. He wanted to see the map himself. Shiro shook his head a small smile on his face, but he followed anyways.

            Allura was directing the castle towards a planet. “Is this where Lotor is?” Keith asked.

            “I believe so. The intel we got from last week indicated he was here,” she said. “Get dressed, I’m sending you to the surface.”

            Happiness, the first since Lance’s capture bubbled up in his chest. It felt strange, the ugly guilt sitting in his stomach for so long. The others waited for him and they got into their lions.

            When they broke through the atmosphere, Keith spotted Galra building jutting up ugly against the landscape. If Lotor was here, he’d be in one of those buildings. “Careful,” Shiro said. “We need to be careful and make sure Lance is here before we go all out.”

            Keith ignored him, steering Red to the ground. “Keith wait!”

            Hunk and Pidge flew down and landed next to Red, and Shiro was a beat behind them. “Slow down Keith,” Pidge said over the helmet coms.

            Keith climbed out of Red and headed towards one of the buildings. He was going to find Lance and no one was going to stop him.

            A strong hand grabbed onto his wrist, it was Hunk. He was panting a little, but his mouth was set at a thin line. “Slow down, let Shiro and Pidge catch up. We need a plan, not a brash rush in.”

            Hunk was serious, his grip strong. He wasn’t going to let Keith go and he stopped pulling. “Fine.”

            The others caught up. “We should do a little recon first, find out where the soldiers are,” Shiro said. “If Lance is here, he might be wounded. Getting out of here in one piece with everyone is the top priority.

            Keith’s heart clenched when Shiro mentioned Lance being hurt. He was about to rush in, not realizing that he could’ve gotten himself or the others captured.

            The interior of the Galra compound was quiet, only drones patrolling the hallways. Shiro had explained the time changes he learned when he was a prisoner, so it was easy to avoid them. Keith was paired with Pidge. They moved together swiftly searching for any signs of the Blue Paladin.

            There was a tracking device on the paladin armor, but it wasn’t long range. “Still nothing,” Keith sighed.

            The device beeped suddenly and Keith raced off ignoring Pidge’s cries. He was here.

            Drawing his Galra blade, Keith let it grow to its full length. Lately he’d been training with it instead of his bayard. “Keith wait!”

            The beeping stopped, but Keith burst into the room, sword swinging. He knocked out two of the guards and cut three droids in two. The third guard he disarmed and shoved against a wall. “Where’s Lance!” Keith growled pushing up against the bigger Galra soldier.

            His Galra blade dug into his throat, a thin line of blood seeping into the soldier’s fur. “I-I don’t know?”

            “The Blue paladin. Dark skin, blue eyes, brown hair, tall and lanky? Ring any bells?” Keith growled. “He was taken by Lotor.”

            “Prince Lotor hasn’t visited us in six months.”

            Keith wanted to gut him, it had been a waste of time coming here. “They don’t know anything!” Keith roared.

            Pidge kept away from him, worry and a little bit of fear on her face.  “Keith, he’s not here. It was a false alarm,” she said.

            Keith yelled and knocked the Galra solider out with the butt of his sword. “He’s not here! Where is he?”

            “Calm down Keith, we’ll find him,” Pidge said, then over the com. “Shiro, Hunk. Any luck?”

            Keith heard their voices confirming he wasn’t there. “Let’s head back to the castle,” Shiro said. “We need to regroup and search again.”

            He knew Shiro was right, it was just hard to be disappointed when he was given a glimmer of hope of finding Lance.

            They made their way out of the compound fairly easily. Only a few battles were fought and back to the castle.

           

            


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone who's commented, left kudos and just read my fic. Thank you! 
> 
> Now, we get back to Lance.

Chapter. 5

 

            Tests were done on his eyes, how well he could see, and adjustments were made. Lance let them do them, his mind numb. His new eyes made it hard to sleep, the strange cold metal felt funny when he closed his eyes. They glowed-his eyes-he found that out when the medics turned out the lights at night. There were four hundred and sixty-two tiles on the ceiling, he’d counted them multiple times. Naming them was his next choice. He could see every little detail in his room, and it got overwhelming sometimes. Lance begin to keep his eyes closed regardless if the medics were in the room or not.

            Through his eyelids, Lance saw the lights brighten the room and the medics came in, the door swishing open and shut. Lance barely paid any attention to them, but still a part of him wanted to kill them for what they did to him. It was an odd feeling, wanting to kill someone.

            One of the medics took fluids, injecting something into Lance. His body quivered, cold rushing through his system. “Test Subject has adjusted accordingly to the prosthetic eyes. Orders to drain memories have been issued. It will suit it better to serve the Galra Empire.”

            _‘No!’_ Lance thought a soft wail coming through the muzzle.

            Probes were placed on his forehead and temples. “Began memory wipe.”

            Lance fought, he tried so hard not to let the memories of his team mates, his family, Earth be removed, but they fell through his fingers like sand. They dragged them from his mind, leaving darkness behind. He couldn’t remember who he was, where he was from. All he remembered was his name. Lance.

            One thing vaguely stuck though, it was the image of a boy with black hair and dark brown eyes. It was strange to Lance, the fact that one person stayed in his mind, but he didn’t think too hard on it. The door swished open and a stranger entered. “Good afternoon paladin. I am Prince Lotor, your friend,” he said.

            Lance wasn’t sure that was the truth. Something deep rang wrong in his chest, an instinct. “I’m here to get you out of here. Do you want that?”

            To not be restrained and left on a table, Lance did agree that would be preferable. Nodding yes, he waited. “Release him, have him cleaned up, and brought to my quarters.”

            “Yes, Your Highness,” one of the medics said.

            Lotor left the room, but he still wasn’t sure he could trust the white-haired man. Lance couldn’t remember why he was restrained on the table, or where he came from. Clink, the restraints fell open and Lance struggled to his feet. He tumbled over, grabbing onto the table to stabilize himself. One of the medics helped him out of the room and down the hall.

            Once he was bathed, his wounds taken care of, and new clothes given to him; a guard led him down the hall. Lance could for the most part walk on his own, but after a while, the guard had to assist him.

            He was led to a large pair of doors with ornate purple markings. They swished open and Lance was led into an opulent room. A massive bed lay in the middle, black sheets covering it. A wardrobe sat on one wall, along with several doors. The floors were laid with lush carpets, and a long couch rested against another wall. The guard bowed and left, leaving Lance alone. He went and sank down on the couch, relaxing.            

            Lance was tired, so very tired, his bones aching. His eyes fluttered, then he fell asleep.

 

+++

 

            Fingers brushed against Lance’s face waking him. Lotor stood over him, a creepy smile on his face. “Falling asleep in my quarters, that is not a smart thing to do paladin,” Lotor said.

            “My name isn’t paladin, it’s Lance.”

            One elegant eyebrow quirked upwards his smile widening. “Lance, well then. Are you hungry?”

            Lance’s stomach growled on cue his cheeks flushing. “I already sent for food, I knew you would be hungry, Lance,” Lotor said, his voice smooth.

            _‘A viper, that’s the feeling I get from him,’_ Lance thought making a face when Lotor settled next to Lance.

            Glancing around the room, trying to avoid looking at the man sitting next to him, Lance spotted a jar with a pair of blue eyes floating in gold liquid. Nausea rose quickly in Lance’s throat, something was wrong. He didn’t know why those eyes made him feel such a reaction. “Is something wrong?”

            “Bathroom!”

            The first door on the left.”

            Lance ran as fast as he could across the room, opening the door and retched in the sink. His stomach rolled, the image of those eyes burned into his brain. A warm hand on his back made him jolt. “What was it?”

            Swallowing, he struggled to get his heart to stop racing. “T-those eyes.”

            Lotor smiled, his teeth showing too much. “They’re part of my treasure.”

            “Get them away from me,” Lance said. “I don’t want to see them.”

            “Alright, are you finished? I wanted to show you to your room.”

            Lance wiped his face, wishing he had something to rinse the bile from his mouth. He didn’t know why those eyes made him sick, he couldn’t remember. “Come, let’s go eat.”

            His stomach still clenched uncomfortably, and Lance didn’t know if he could eat. It seemed rude to refuse, so he followed Lotor. He led Lance to another room just as finely decorated as the first. A large black table lay in the middle, dishes steaming into the air. Chairs, at least ten of them, sat around the edges. “Sit, please.”

            Lotor settled into one of the high-backed chairs at the head of the table, so Lance sat down. “Please, serve yourself. I don’t know of your tastes, so I had them make everything.”

            It was too much food and a small voice in Lance’s head said that it was a waste. That voice was familiar, feminine. _‘We don’t waste food, it’s wrong.’_

            “Okay.”

            He spooned some of the food onto his plate. It smelled a little strange, but Lotor wouldn’t feed him something poisonous-would he?

            Lotor asked him questions, most that Lance couldn’t answer. He didn’t eat much, his appetite still wavery since he saw the blue eyes. “I-I’m tired,” Lance said settling his fork down.

            “Very well, I’ll show you to your room.”

            He took one last glance down at his plate, feeling that he should clean up. Lotor simply rose and waited. Chewing on his lower lip, Lance followed. He felt so empty, not being able to remember things, but there was nothing he could do.

            Lance was led to another room. It was simple, a bed and a dresser. “Good night Lance,” Lotor said.

            The door swished shut and Lance was alone. Not even bothering to change clothes, he curled up on the bed and closed his eyes.

            _He was inside a strange blue cockpit, but it was all so familiar. “Lance, Keith needs help,” a voice said-no Shiro, that was his name._

_A rumbling purr echoed in his mind, a large blue lion image in his head. “We need to take out these ships before we’re over run,” Shiro commanded._

_The armor Lance wore was strange, blue, and white with black under armor. He pushed the bars, maneuvering around in space._

_Then water began filling the interior and Lance couldn’t do anything. He tried to escape, but there was no way. Slowly, the water rose to the top and Lance choked, water pouring down his throat. It was filling his lungs, bubbles escaping. Darkness, so dark._

_“Lance!” a familiar voice called. “I’m such an idiot, why did I leave you?”_

_Lance’s eyes flickered open to see him. Black hair, brown eyes; who was that boy? “Don’t you remember me? It’s your friend, Keith.”_

_His lips kept moving, but no sounds came out. Lance was stuck behind glass, floating in water. Lance pounded on the glass, trying so hard to reach Keith, but he turned and walked away. There were others, they were dressed in black, green, and yellow. The group was leaving him, leaving him behind. Panic flooded Lance’s chest and he screamed, water pouring into his lungs. Pounding on the glass, Lance felt the skin on his hands break, blood leaking into the water._

_Alone, he was alone._

 

            Lance sat up with a gasp, sweat pouring off him, his shirt sticking to his back. His heart still raced and once more Lance wished he could cry. Clutching at his hair, he rocked back and forth, the dream sticking. _‘I knew those people, but who are they?’_

            Getting to his feet, he padded over to the door. His room were stifling, feeling too small. When the door didn’t open, Lance blinked and tried again. Still it didn’t open. Panic rose in Lance’s chest. He couldn’t get out? Running his hands over the door, he tried finding somewhere he could pull at the edges. Galra design made it impossible. The edges were inside the wall, but Lance kept trying. He pounded against the door. “Let me out!” he cried.

            Sinking down to the floor, he choked out a sob, but he couldn’t cry. Somehow that made it worse. He was alone, always alone.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter, kind of sad, kind of sweet. I'm sorry this is so late. I got sick, then got writers block, and school picked up. Hopefully I'll be able to update this fic more. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who comments, gives kudos, even just reads my fic. Ily all <3 -blows kisses-
> 
> Enjoy!

Chapter 6.

 

            _Lance lay in a bloody pile in front of him, eyes staring unmoving, limbs tangled around his crumpled body. “Lance…” Keith whispered falling to his knees. “I’m sorry.”_

_He was gone and it was all Keith’s fault. He pulled Lance into his arms, his head lolling to the side, dried blood crusting his mouth and nose. Tears filled his eyes dripping down his cheeks. “It’s your fault,” Shiro said, his voice echoing around him. “You killed him.”_

_“My best friend is gone because of you,” Hunk said._

_“I can’t believe you didn’t save him,” Pidge retorted, disappointment in their voice._

_“We’re down one paladin because of your cowardice,’ Allura said._

_“He’s gone, because of you,” Coran sneered._

_They surrounded him and Lance, staring down at him. Judging him. Red roared, flames filling her mouth. It was clear, she was rejecting him. Flames surrounded him, pain filling his chest._

Keith gasped and sat up, sweat coating his skin. Rubbing his eyes, he tried to blink back the tears. It was his fault. The nightmare kept echoing in his brain. He wasn’t going to get any more sleep, so Keith got dressed and headed to the training deck his Galra dagger in hand.

            The castle was dim and silent, only a few systems running this late at night. His feet were silent on the floors, and it was a little eerie, but Keith didn’t care.

            He started the battle droid simulation, making it as hard as possible. The gladiator popped up from the ground. “Begin sequence,” the computer announced.

            Keith extended his sword, and leapt at the droid.

            Hours passed and he was exhausted. Sweat dripped down his face and body. He’d pulled off his shirt and tied back his hair, continuing fighting.   He’d been knocked down so many times he’d lost track.

            “End simulation,” came a voice behind him.

            Turning around, he saw Shiro leaning in the doorframe worry in his dark eyes. “Keith, have you been here all night?”

            Panting, Keith sighed and looked at the floor. He remembered the way Shiro had looked at him, disappointment, anger. It had hurt so much to see the man he saw as a brother look so upset. “Not all night.”

            “You’re not ok, don’t argue with me. I want you to take the Altean medicine,” Shiro said.         
            Keith shook his head, sweaty hair flying around. “No, Shiro, you don’t understand. I can’t, please,” he begged his voice cracking.

            His shoulders sagged, his Galra blade shrinking back down into a knife. “Keith, you’re going to get sick if you keep doing this,” Shiro said walking over.

            Keith flinched when Shiro placed a hand on his shoulder. “Keith, what happened?”

            “Nightmare, it was another nightmare,” Keith whispered.

            “What was it about?”

            “Lance, he-he was dead,” Keith said the memories dredging back up in his mind. “Everyone else was there. You-you said it was my fault he died.”

            His voice was barely a whisper. “Keith, it’s not your fault, it was a nightmare,” Shiro said keeping his voice gentle. “C’mon, you need a shower and something to eat.”

            This time, Keith let Shiro steer him out of the training deck.

            He stared at the wall, hot water smacking into his back. It felt good, but still his chest was heavy. Guilt still ate in away in his stomach and they were no closer to finding Lotor or Lance. Raising a fist up, he punched the wall, ignoring the splintery pain in his hand. They had to find Lance before something terrible happened to him, they had to.

            Keith spent an hour in the shower, trying to drown his pain in the hot water. After dressing and toweling his hair off, he left his room, making his way towards the mess hall.

            Hunk and Pidge were making some sort of concoction when he walked into the mess hall. Hunk tried to smile when he saw Keith. “Hungry?” he asked his voice full of cheerfulness.

            Keith knew they were trying to keep upbeat around him. “It’s ok guys, I know you’re just trying to make me feel better.”  
            “We’re worried about you Keith. You didn’t react this strongly even after Shiro disappeared,” Pidge said.      

            He’d holed up in his room for three days, then came out and spent all his energy finding the black paladin. They’d searched for months until one night Lance tried on the armor and walked into Black. When he bonded with the lion, she told him where to find Shiro. Lance said he still felt rumbles from her, but Blue was stronger in his mind. _’I should visit Blue,’_ Keith thought.

            “Keith, you hungry?” Hunk asked again.

            “Oh sorry, yeah sure. Load me up.”

            Pidge handed him a plate of steaming food, greens, orange, blue. It looked great and Keith tried to eat knowing his stomach might reject it later. “Shiro said you were training,” Hunk said. “Maybe we should work on group training this afternoon.”

            “Hunk,” Pidge hissed. “Not the greatest idea?”

            His face fell and he shuffled his stance. “It’s ok big guy, that sounds like fun,” Keith said.

            Hunk’s face brightened and he gave Keith a thumbs up. Which made pain shift in Keith’s chest. All it brought back was memories of Lance’s finger guns and his smile. That wide bright white smile, blue eyes twinkling. Keith missed him, he missed the lightheartedness he brought to the group. Blinking back tears, Keith spooned a large bite and shoved into his mouth. Flavors exploded on his tongue. “S’its gblood,” he muttered through the food.

            Hunk and Pidge exchanged looks and watched as Keith forced each bite down, until his plate was empty. “I’ll let you know when we’ll train. Why don’t you get some rest,” Pidge said.

            “Yeah ok.”

            His feet dragged, but he made it to his quarters. He stared at the door, fingers raised, ready to press the button. Turning his head, he saw Lance’s door. His mind decided for him and he turned and walked towards the other paladin’s door.

            It swished open and Keith got a look at Lance’s room. It was neat and orderly. His bed was made, crisp and neat. It made Keith smile, knowing how messy he was compared to Lance. There were a few trinkets lining a shelf from their exploits, but nothing much. Pulling back the covers, Keith slipped off his boots and got in.

            His bed smelled like Lance, his musky smell, mint from his skin care regiment, and a darker note that was just pure Lance. Inhaling, Keith took a deep breath into his pillow and pulled the covers over his head and closed his eyes. Maybe he could sleep now.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to Lance and welp how he's doing hanging with Lotor. Thank for all the comments, kudos, and hits, I love you all and appreciate your kind words greatly!
> 
> Enjoy!

Chapter 7.

 

            The days bled together. Lance was getting a little used to spending time with Lotor. He was given all the food he wanted and fine clothes. The dreams kept haunting him, but he barely remembered them half the time. They were hazy and unfocused, mere shadows in his mind. He didn’t pay them much attention, they were just dreams after all. “How are you today my treasure?” Lotor asked strolling into the room.

            Lance was sprawled out on the couch popping Boylan berries into his mouth. They tasted sweet, with a hint of bitterness that hit his tongue. “I’m great,” Lance replied.

            Despite his lingering creepiness, and the fact that Lance couldn’t remember much of his past, Lotor did treat him with kindness. “I’m glad,” Lotor said brushing his hand over Lance’s hair. “So soft.”

            Long nails dug lightly into his scalp, but Lance ignored the weird feeling. He was content. It was strange, especially since those dreams popped up in his mind at random times. “I have a meeting to go to, I’ll see you later.”

            “Mkay.”

            Lance didn’t have much to do other than eat and lounge around. He dozed, memories, strange memories flooding through his mind. Spending time with a gigantic blue robotic lion, cooking with a big guy dressed in yellow. They flitted through his mind, Lance didn’t even pay any attention to them.

            The door swished open and Lance cracked an eye open thinking Lotor got out of his meeting early. Instead a tall bulky stranger stood in the doorway. “Lance, thank the gods we found you,” a stranger in dark clothing said.

            “How-how do you know my name?” Lance asked.

            His face was obscured by a cowl that fit over his face. The stranger’s body language was clearly confused, the hand reaching out towards him stopping. “You-you don’t remember me?” he asked.

            Pushing back his hood, his cowl dematerialized and a pair of fluffy ears puffed out. A long scar stretched across the left side of his face and he stared at Lance with confused yellow eyes. “Galra-you’re Galra.”

            An uneasy feeling sank in Lance’s stomach. “I’m part of the Blades of Mamora, we’re here to rescue you. I’m Kolivan.”

            “Rescue me? I need rescuing?”

            Kolivan shook his head, a long braid behind him whipping around. “You-you don’t remember me. Also, you’re eyes, what happened to them?”

            Lance knew he had prosthetic eyes, but he didn’t know why. “I don’t remember.”

            “Of course you don’t. Come with me, we’re getting you out of here. The other paladins of Voltron have been searching for you in earnest.”

            Lance stepped back uncertain. He didn’t trust the other Galrans, let alone one knew his name. “I-uh I don’t think so. Why would these paladins of Voltron be searching for me?”

            “You’re one of them, the blue paladin.”

            “Sounds cool, but that’s not me. I’m not a pilot or anything.”

            “Just come with me.”

            The door swished open and Lotor stepped in. His eyes widened in shock when he saw Kolivan. “Guards!” Lotor screeched pressing a button.

            An alarm sounded and Kolivan blanched. “We’re going!”

            He grabbed Lance’s wrist and dragged him out of the room. Lotor ran after them, drawing a sword. “Get back here!”

            There were two other black hooded figures waiting for them. “You got Lance, good, let’s go.”

            The heavy footsteps of soldiers echoed down the hallway. “We have to hurry, they’re onto us.”

            Lance tried to struggle, he didn’t know who these strangers were, what they wanted from him, and why he was leaving. Lotor was creepy, but he was kind and treated Lance nicely. “We’ll hold them off, you get Lance to a pod."

            “Did you ever think of what I want?” Lance yelled as he was dragged down the hallway. “Maybe I want to stay here?”

            “If you had your memories you’d know that Lotor is a crazed maniac who tortures people!”

            The memory of those blue eyes that were in Lotor’s quarters and the way Lance reacted to them made his throat close up. Maybe Kolivan was right. “You’re not stealing my treasure!” Lotor yelled swinging his sword at Kolivan.

            He pulled out a dagger, and in a flash of purple it extended to a sword. Something familiar niggled in the back of Lance’s mind. Like he’d seen that before. He met Lotor’s blade with his own, sparks flashing off the metal. “Lance go!”

            “No!”

            Kolivan growled, a low angry sound from the bottom of his throat. It scared Lance, his eyes widening. “Go now! The pods are just down that hall.”

            Lotor roared, his teeth bared. “Don’t go! You can’t take my treasure! He’s mine!”

            His eyes glowed brighter, rage clear on his face. Lance froze, swallowing hard. This was a side he hadn’t seen of Lotor. It terrified him, made his heart race, and he turned on his heel and ran.

            The pods were right where Kolivan said. Oddly, Lance knew which buttons to press, the engine roaring to life. He didn’t know what coordinates to put in. Pressing a few buttons, he hoped for the best and the pod shot out of the ship and into space. He hoped Kolivan was ok and didn’t get hurt. Despite not knowing who the strange Galran was, he seemed nice-sort of.

            Lance slept while the pod shot through space. He didn’t bother doing anything, not sure where it was headed. Then an alarm began to blare and Lance watched as a small planet appeared in front of him. The alarms were in Galran, so Lance couldn’t read them. He tried to get the pod back on track, but it was no use.

            Flames erupted around the pod as it entered the atmosphere and Lance winced, squinting from the bright light. When it broke through, Lance got one look at a large body of water and deep forest, before the pod plunged through tall thick trees.

            The pod landed heavily into the deep underbrush of the planet hissing softly, the lights and console flickering. Lance groaned softly, rubbing his head. He’d hit it on the console of the pod. Rubbing his forehead, he got to his feet and pressed the button to open the door.

            Dense jungle lay in front of him, bright red, orange, and purples being catalogued by his eyes. Mud stuck to his boots when he stepped outside, heat beating into his skin.

            Lance explored the short perimeter around the pod, not wanting to let it out of his sight. It was his only way of getting off the planet, and he didn’t want to lose it. The body of water called to him, a deep longing that hit his stomach. Lance didn’t even know if he could swim, but the water called to him. A faint memory filtered through, blue water surrounding him, cradling him, protecting him. Then it disappeared, like sand through a siv.

            He wondered how far away it was, but he was intent on staying near the pod for now. He’d had to climb through thick underbrush, spotting a few bird-like creatures that fled when he passed by. The trees were massive, growing thick and strong above his head. Only thin slivers of sunlight made it through, lighting up the dim underbrush.

            Lance felt like eyes were watching him, making his skin prickle. Whatever or whoever it was, Lance didn’t feel safe and so he headed back to the pod.

            By accident, he stumbled upon emergency rations and water, enough to last a few weeks if he was careful. He found a few weapons, Galra made. Lance didn’t know what kind of wildlife lived here, other than the alien birds, but he wanted to be safe. Lance closed the pod door and curled up on the floor. He’d plan after a nap.

 

+++

 

            Six days of being stranded on the planet and Lance had already been attacked three times by strange creatures. They were spotted and scaly with sharp teeth and glowing green eyes. He’d used the Galran weapons he found on the pod until they ran out of batteries, bullets-he didn’t know. His left arm had a make shift bandage from one of their attacks.

            Lance still was confused at why he was such a good shot. He’d killed two of them, their rotting corpses lay around the pod still. The pod was useless, he tried getting it to work twice, but the wires looked like nonsense to his brain. “Hunk would’ve known what to do,” he muttered. “Wait-what’s a Hunk?”

            Shaking his head, Lance kept fiddling around with the wires. Still, nothing. He sighed and wondered again if he was going to be stranded here until he died. A strange pain settled into his chest, he was homesick. Homesick for a place that he couldn’t remember. “Where am I from? Do I have family, friends?” he wondered aloud.

            Lance had been talking to himself more, it filled the odd silence. There wasn’t much noise, the occasional squawk or trees rustling in the wind.

            That night, Lance tried to sleep, keeping his new weapon at his side. He’d formed a sort of spear with parts from the pod and a stick from outside. He didn’t dare explore further into the forest, not knowing what else prowled the area. A low growl rumbled from the forest. One of them was here. Lance grabbed his spear and settled into a crouch. They usually attacked from the side. A heavy weight launched at him, knocking him to the ground. He didn’t lose his spear, clutching at it tightly. The creature latched onto his arm, biting hard into his skin, making him scream.

            Lance twisted his spear sinking it deep into the side of the creature. It hissed, baring its teeth at Lance, but let go of his arm. Blood dripped down Lance’s arm, six puncture marks deep in his arm. He ripped the spear from the side of the creature, blood spraying his face. He growled back at it, brandishing his spear.

            The creature slunk away from him, its long tail swinging low. His arm throbbed and Lance knew he had to wrap it as soon as possible. He was determined to survive this planet. Maybe if he could get back into space, he could find his memories. “Maybe Kolivan will come back,” Lance said tearing off another strip from his clothes. At this rate, he’d be running around naked. Wrapping the wound, he hissed when he applied pressure. It would slow the blood until it healed. The fine clothes Lotor had given him were muddied and torn, looking nothing like the beautiful blues and green fabrics they once were.

            His stomach rumbled. There were food rations, but after a period of time, they would run out and Lance would have to venture out to find food. There were a few fruit like looking trees a short distance from the pod, but Lance didn’t know if they were poisonous or not. Once his food source ran out, he’d have to test the theory.

            When morning came, Lance scratched out another mark next to the others, so he would know how many days he was here. Again, he spent a few hours trying to figure out how to get the pod going again, but it was still fruitless. The wires didn’t make any sense to his clouded mind. _‘Maybe I could’ve done this with my memories,’_ Lance thought huffing and throwing aside the wires.

            He ate some rations, choking down the powdery dried disks. “Food goo sounds great right now,” Lance said.

            Whatever food goo was, Lance wasn’t quite sure. He shrugged and continued eating. Then something on the pod lit up and began beeping. “What the?” he asked.

            Lance wasn’t sure it was a good thing, so he tried to figure out why it was beeping. “It could be Kolivan trying to contact me?” Lance said.

            To be safe, Lance disconnected it, not wanting to chance it. He tried to remember where it all connected to in case he needed to use the connection again. Grabbing his spear, Lance decided to go explore a little while there was sunlight out.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, we're getting closer and closer to the end. I am still blown completely away from the feedback and how many people have commented on this fic. You are all lovely wonderful people! I also want to thank those who left kudos and even just read my fic. -blows kisses-
> 
> We're back to Keith's pov and the exciting possibility of finding Lance (finally)
> 
> Enjoy!

Chapter 8.

             No one batted an eye when the other paladins started seeing Keith come out of Lance’s room repeatedly. No one said anything when he wore Lance’s clothes or spent time with Blue. She’d calmed a little, but twice she’d redestroyed a wall. She’d also dented the bay door. It was safer that she was in the castle, but clearly Blue had other ideas.

            It had been Keith’s idea to talk to the Blade of Mamora to help find Lance. They had inner connections that the paladins didn’t have. Allura didn’t like it much, she disliked talking with the stiff honor bound Galrans, but they were running out of ideas. Without the ability to form Voltron, the universe wasn’t safe. The unspoken idea of replacing Lance with another paladin hadn’t been voiced, but it wasn’t like anyone didn’t think it.

            “Come in Princess, are you there?” a deep voice called through the com system.

            Allura opened up a channel. A battered Kolivan appeared on a holo screen. “We found Lance,” he said. “He was under the control of Lotor, but he escaped.”

            “Hold on a moment, the paladins need to hear this,” she said.

            Keith was stretched out on the bed in Lance’s room wrapped in the blanket when he heard Allura’s announcement.

            The rest of the paladins were a little confused to be called to the bridge at such a late hour, but they all arrived in various states of dress. Pidge clutched a gadget, rubbing her eyes and Hunk was in his pj’s. Shiro was half in his paladin armor, his bayard in hand. Keith had quickly dressed, not wanting them to see him in the blue paladin’s pjs. “Kolivan, could you do the honors,” Allura said.

            “We found Lance,” he said.

            The paladins erupted in cheers and everyone asking questions. “Calm down please paladins,” Allura said. “Please continue.”

            Kolivan coughed a little, clearing his throat. “He was on a ship with Lotor, but there were some-changes. He was able to escape, but we lost track of his pod while fighting off Lotor’s forces. We’ve been searching for him, but haven’t found anything. We believe he’s somewhere in the Y’myan system.”

            Emotions were bubbling up in Keith’s chest; happiness, joy. They’d found Lance. “We need to go there immediately!” Keith announced.

            “Hold up, the Y’myan system isn’t a friendly system. There are Galra controlled planets as well as fierce locals, the Ilynan people,” Kolivan said. “Let us find Lance and we’ll bring him to the Castle of Lions.”

            His fists curled into tight fists. No, Keith was going to rescue him, not the Blade of Mamora. Turning on his heel, Keith left. Hunk followed him, along with Pidge. “Keith, Keith, wait.”

            “What?” Keith snarled.

            “You’re going after Lance, aren’t you?” Hunk said.

            “No, I’m going to find Lotor first and kill him for what he did to Lance. Then I’m going to find Lance and rescue him. Are you going stop me?”

            “Nope, we’re going with you,” Pidge piped up. “Let me see what I can get from the transmission.”

            She pulled up a hologram control on her wrist and pressed buttons. Grinning, she showed Keith the coordinates. “This is where Lotor’s ship is, it’s still in the Y’myan system.”

            “Pidge you genius!” Keith said grinning. “Let’s go.”

            “Go where?” a deep disappointed voice said behind them.

            The three whirled around to see Shiro standing behind them, his hands on his hips. “Uh, nowhere,” Keith said tapping his fist against his thigh.

            Shiro sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You’re going to go rescue Lance, aren’t you?”

            “Nooo,” Pidge said twiddling her thumbs.

            “We-we’re going to get something to eat,” Hunk said sweat beading on his face.

            “If you’re going to go rescue Lance, I’m coming with. Someone needs to be there to stop you Keith.”

            Instead of taking the lions, the paladins climbed into a pod and left. “Allura and Coran won’t be happy we left,” Shiro said with a sigh.

            “No, but she’ll understand we need to find Lance, he’s our friend,” Hunk said.

            Keith nodded. He clenched his bayard tight. Lotor was going to pay for whatever he did to Lance. The pod shot through space, heading towards the coordinates. Shiro piloted them, as the purple dot on the map got closer and closer.

            When a Galra battle ship loomed up ahead, they formulated a plan to get on board. “Lotor is mine,” Keith growled.

            “Be careful Keith,” Shiro said settling a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t put yourself in danger. Remember we still have to find Lance and rescue him.”

            Anger burned low in Keith’s chest. They anchored the pod on one side of the ship and everyone climbed out using their jet packs to silently head towards hull. Shiro cut a hole in the side of the ship and they slipped inside.

            The hallways were quiet, only a few battle droids guarding. Keith took them out quickly and quietly. Pidge hacked into the main frame and Hunk began rewiring one of the droids Keith took down to help them. “I’m going to go find Lotor’s quarters, see if he’s there,” Keith said.

            “Be careful,” Shiro said.

            Keith nodded and followed the directions Pidge had given him. He cut down any Galra droids that crossed his path. He stopped in front of a pair of opulent doors, his Galra blade tight in his hand.

            The doors swished open and Keith stormed inside scanning for the Galra prince. The room was empty, but two things caught his eyes. One was Lance’s paladin armor on display and the other was a jar with something awful floating inside. His stomach rolled and Keith swallowed hard at the blue eyes that floated inside golden liquid. Pressing the com, Keith debated about telling them about the eyes. “Shiro, I-uh I need you to come to Lotor’s quarters,” Keith said.

            “What’s going on?” Hunk asked.

            “I’ll-I’ll tell you later,” Keith said.

            “I’m on my way Keith.”

            He tried not to look at the jar while he waited for Shiro. To keep himself distracted, he began pulling the armor off and stuffing it into one of the bags his armor had hidden away. The door swished open and Shiro strode in worry in his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

            Keith swallowed hard and turned and pointed to the jar sitting next to where the armor was. “Are-are those?” Shiro asked, his voice turning soft.

            “Lance-those are Lance’s eyes,” Keith whispered the urge to hurl rising in his throat.

            Anger and pain burned in Keith’s chest. He was so worried. “So, Lance is lost-again, without his eyes, stranded **somewhere** alone!” Keith said his voice rising in volume.

            “Keith calm down. We’ll find Lotor and make him tell us what he did to Lance,” Shiro said.

            There was hidden anger in the normally calm and collected black paladin. “Yes, then Lotor is going to pay for what he did!”

            “Yes, Keith he will.”

            Shiro helped collect the rest of Lance’s armor into a bag. “Lotor did something horrible to Lance, I know it.”

            “Keith we’ll find him,” Shiro reassured.

            It felt weird to leave Lance’s eyes, but it felt weird to leave them in the clutches of Lotor. Shiro disagreed, feeling off about taking them. In in the end, they slid them into the bag carefully.

            When they rejoined the other two paladins, Hunk hovered nervously around Keith. “What did you find? Was it horrible?” he asked.

            Keith’s eyes flickered over to Shiro who met his eyes and he nodded a little. It was hard for Keith to say it, but he had to. The others needed to know what Lotor did to Lance. “We-I-uh, in Lotor’s quarters, found Lance’s eyes. Lotor had them on display in his quarters.”

            Hunks eyes widened and he ripped off his helmet, turning to vomit on the floor. Pidge’s face nearly matched her green armor, and her eyes were huge saucers. “You’re-you’re sure they’re his?”

            “They are, it’s too bad he escaped,” came a silky voice behind them.

            Keith whirled around drawing his Galra blade. It shimmered purple, extending to a sword. “A luxite blade, I haven’t seen one of those in decafeebs,” Lotor purred.

            He smiled, showing off sharp teeth, twirling one end of his long white hair in between his clawed fingers. “Lotor!” Keith hissed leaping forward, grabbing Lotor and holding his blade to his neck. “What did you do to Lance?”

            Black blood seeped out of the wound in Lotor’s neck, dripping downwards. “Keith!” Shiro exclaimed, reaching out to Keith. “Put the sword away!”

            “Yes, listen to your leader, Keith, was it?” Lotor said, his golden eyes giving Keith a long look up and down. “Lance was my treasure, I took his eyes as mine own and his memories, so he would stay with me forever.”

            Keith growled, his anger raw and burning in his chest. He wanted to so badly to cut off Lotor’s head, see that disgusting smile wiped off his face. “You’d also suffice as my treasure. I’d love to add a mixed blood to my collection.”

            A hand on Keith’s shoulder made him start. Turning, he saw Shiro watching him. “Let him go Keith. He’s baiting you. You don’t want murder riding on your shoulders, it’s a heavy burden.”

            Something in Shiro’s eyes made Keith sigh and his blade went back to its dagger form. “We’ll keep an eye on Lotor, you find Lance’s memories,” Shiro ordered.

            Hunk and Pidge nodded and hurried down the hallway. Keith kept his dagger and pulled out his bayard sword keeping them trained on Lotor. “So, you’re the mighty leader of Voltron. My Father once had that honor, but you stripped him of that right,” Lotor growled.

            Gone was the sweet sickening seductive Lotor. Anger flashed in his golden eyes and he bared his teeth at Shiro. “Quiet you,” Shiro rumbled fingering his bayard.

            “I don’t have to listen to you,” Lotor snapped.

            “Why don’t we throw you out the airlock, see if you can talk out there,” Keith drawled.

            Shiro shot Keith a look, one that Keith affectionally called the ‘dad look’. “What? It’s a good idea,” Keith shrugged.

            Lotor swallowed hard, still trying to look fierce. _‘I bet if he didn’t have his underlings, he’d just be a big baby,’_ Keith thought.

            They waited, time ticking away. Then the com clicked on. “We found his memories,” Pidge said.

            “Good, report back here,” Shiro said.

            “We’re on our way, oh quiznak. Shiro you and Keith need to get to the pod. Reinforcements have arrived,” Hunk said.

            Keith gritted his teeth. They couldn’t take Lotor with them, they’d have to leave him. “This isn’t over. You are going to pay for hurting Lance.”

            Lotor simply grinned, one that made Keith shiver. Shiro and Keith made their way to the pod cutting down any Galra droids that stood in their way. Hunk and Pidge were waiting for them. A large container sat in between her knees, blue tendrils floating inside. “Let’s go!” she yelled.

            Shots hit the sides of the pod and Keith pulled up his shield. The two paladins rushed into the pod and Shiro piloted them out of the Galra ship.

            “Did you find out more information on where Lance went,” Keith said.

            “Already ahead of you,” Pidge said. “When we were searching for Lance’s memories, I scanned the ship for any information on the pods. I found out one was activated and left the same day the Blades of Mamora were on the ship. Based on its trajectory, there are three possible planets Lance went to.”

            “Great job Pidge,” Shiro said.

            She beamed a large grin on her face. An odd weight settled in Keith’s stomach. The information they’d learned while on Lotor’s ship upset Keith. He worried what Lance would look like when they found him; if he was still alive. That possibility Keith shoved deep down inside of him, to go with the feelings he had for Lance. “This is the closest planet,” Pidge said.

            “We’ll go there first.”

            Shiro piloted the ship towards the coordinates Pidge put in.

+++

            The first planet was a dud, they didn’t find any evidence Lance was on there. They’d spent a few hours wandering around the desolate desert-like surface for a few hours hoping. Exhaustion began to pull at Keith’s bones, from the roller-coaster of emotions he was dealing with.

            The second planet was much more promising. Pidge picked up a faint beacon from a Galran signature, one that could be the pod Lance was in. “We’re coming,” Keith whispered.

            Shiro landed the pod in a small field while Pidge got the senor ready. Hunk helped her, keying in the signature of the craft. The underbrush of the planet was thick, dark blues, purples, and reds mixing together. Small alien birds squawked and flapped away from them. Keith thought he saw something shift in the underbrush and a flash of glowing eyes.

            It was hot and humid, his hair sticking to his helmet and his forehead. Sweat coated his skin, his paladin armor uncomfortable. “It’s hot, ugh why,” Pidge complained.

            Hunk agreed his boots sticking in the mud below them. A few times Keith had to hack at the thick branches to make a path for them to get through. “It’s a good thing we have your Galra blade,” Hunk said.

            “I don’t think the Blades of Mamora would agree,” Keith said.

            He wanted to find Lance and leave this hot and gross planet as soon as possible. “We’re close,” Pidge said.

            Through a patch of underbrush, shining metal appeared. It was the pod. What looked like the remains of a fire lay in front of the pod. It was battered and broken, chunks of metal scattered around the forest. “Lance?” Keith called out.

            Shiro held him back from moving forward. The door to the pod hissed open and a figure stepped out. Keith’s eyes widened when he saw who it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I am a horrible evil person who left this at a cliffhanger, because I can :D.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh my bob beautiful wonderful readers I am so sorry that I haven't updated this fic in like a million years (ok it's been like a weekish, but still). School, work, and my wonderful depression also writers block decided to be a bother, but today I started writing and got this chapter done.
> 
> As always I cherish the comments, kudos, and hits. They make my little fic writer heart flutter and I thrive on them. 
> 
> We are nearing the end of this lovely thing too as well. I hope you enjoy this chapter (it is sad, but also getting a bit happier).

****

Chapter 9.

 

            Lance heard voices outside his pod, faintly rising and falling. He gripped his spear, fear sitting like acid in his stomach. As far as he knew there weren’t any other inhabitants, other than the animals he’d encountered. They might be here to capture him. Lance knew he couldn’t stay in here forever and they might try to attack him inside the pod where there wasn’t much room to maneuver. Holding up his spear, Lance pressed the button to the pod door.

            It hissed open and he carefully sidled out of the pod. A small group of oddly dressed people stood in front of him. Their armor was color coordinated, something oddly familiar flickering briefly in his mind. “Lance!” the larger male in yellow yelled.

            He had a broad grin on his face and he turned to rush towards Lance, but the smaller one in red stopped him. “Hunk, he doesn’t know us remember.”

            “Who are you, and how do you know my name?” Lance asked brandishing his spear.

            “We’re your friends Lance, I’m Hunk, your best friend,” the one in yellow said tears filling his eyes. “You don’t remember me?”

            “No, I don’t know who you are.”

            “Lance, we’re here to rescue you,” the one in black said. “I’m Shiro, this is Pidge, Keith, and Hunk introduced himself.”

            The boy in red wouldn’t meet his eyes, stiff and guarded. It was strange, but Lance wasn’t about to let his guard down. “How do I know you’re here to rescue me?”

            “We’re your friends, you’re the blue paladin,” the odd short person in green.

            “Blue paladin? What’s that?”

            “Put down the spear, we can talk about this,” Shiro said.

            “No, I don’t trust you, any of you,” he said.

            “Ugh you are so difficult Lance,” the boy dressed in red, Keith, said. “Why can’t you understand, we’re here to help you!”

            He stepped forward, slipping his helmet off. “You-you…” Lance sputtered. “Why were you in my dreams?”

            Keith’s eyebrows rose, surprise on his face. “Wait-what?”

            “Don’t move closer!” Lance snarled.

            The dark-haired boy jolted, he’d walked closer to Lance, tucking his helmet under his arm, but clearly didn’t realize he had been doing it. “You know me?” Keith asked.

            Lance took a good look at him, still it wasn’t more than a flicker of memory. “No…” Lance said. “I don’t know any of you. And you need to prove you’re here to rescue me. How did you even find me?”

            “I did,” Pidge piped up waving a hand. “I tracked the Galran signature of the pod.”

            “I disabled the tracker,” Lance said.

            Hunk chuckled. “Did you know Lance was like one of the worst engineers at the Garrison. He kept shocking his fingers and plugging the wrong wires in. He’s a way better pilot.”

            A sharp pain shot through Lance’s mind, causing him to gasp and clutch one hand to his temple. His hands trembled and he nearly dropped his spear. “Lance!”

All Lance saw was hands reaching towards him, he panicked and struck out with his spear. It hit someone, a gasp slipping free. A strong mechanical arm pulled him back, forcing him to drop his spear. “Lance, you need to stop, we’re here to protect you,” the one called Shiro grunted.

            Lance struggled, he tried to get free, but he was weak from lack of food and his wounds screamed. Keith clutched his side where Lance’s spear had gotten him, blood dripping through his fingers. “Why would you attack me!” he screeched.

            He wanted to cry, but he couldn’t, so he screamed. He yelled his fury and sadness, trying to be released. “Pidge can you give me a hand here,” Shiro said.

            His body jolted, a sharp shocking sense filling his body, and a slight memory of this happening before flashed in his mind. “No, please,” he whined, then fell into darkness.

           

+++

 

            _Floating, Lance was floating in water again. This time it was cradling him, curling around him, like the ocean did at home. Home, what was home? Images floated through, his family, the beach, warm clear blue waters. Sighing, Lance smiled and let the water cradle him._

_Then the water began to darken, and golden eyes stared down at him, sharp teeth smiling. Lance chocked, water filling his lungs. Lotor, what was he doing here? He took Lance’s eyes, he took his memories. What more did he want?_

_“You are my treasure, I will find you Lance,” he whispered, his lips close to Lance’s ear. “You can never escape me.”_

_Electricity flowed through his system, jolting and making him arch his back in pain. He screamed, Lotor watching his every move. “Let me go, leave me alone,” Lance begged tears slipping into the dark waters. “Please let me die.”_

_“Not you my treasure.”_

A sharp pain filled his body, jolting him into consciousness. The pod door was open and Lance was being carried out of it. “What-what?” he groaned.

            His throat felt raw and sore, like he’d been gargling sand. “You nearly died in the pod,” a familiar voice said, soft.

            “Coran, where did you come from?”

            Someone was crying, but why. “Hunk, don’t blubber on me again man,” Lance whispered.

            “I can’t help it.”

            “It worked! His memories,” another voice. “Coran, you did it!”

            Gentle hands laid him down onto a stretcher. “We’re going to take you back to your room,” Coran said. “You can rest there.”

            It was hard to keep his eyes open, his body heavy and Lance let go of consciousness.

            When Lance woke, he blinked a few times, then slowly sat up. His room looked different than he remembered-wait remembered. “I have my memories back!” he crowed pumping a fist.

            Then Lance saw the scars that lined his arms and his happiness dulled and turned to ash. Reaching upwards he touched his eyes. They were still the mechanical Galra tech. A sob filled his chest and threatened to be released. Then Lance spotted someone sitting next to his bed.

            Keith was seated halfway in a chair, his body leaning forward, his head laying on the bed. A hand stretched out towards Lance his fingers loosely open. _‘Why-why is Keith here?’_ Lance thought.

            The fact that his room wasn’t neat made him curious. Clothes lay on the floor, black, grey, and red clothes. Lance turned to stare at Keith. _‘Why are Keith’s clothes in my room?’_

            The person in question shifted, then his eyes fluttered open. He focused on Lance a warm smile curling on his lips. It made a strange warmth burst in Lance’s chest. Keith smiling was odd. Everything was odd. “Uh hi,” Lance said.

            “Hey, you’re awake. How do you feel?” Keith asked.

            “Why-uh why are you here?”

            Keith sat up and stretched, giving Lance a view of a roll of bandages going around his middle. He stared down at his boots, a red blush creeping across his cheeks. “Because I was worried Lance.”

            His voice was small and uncertain. It was unlike the brash short tempered paladin. “About me?”

            “Yeah, you,” Keith said swallowing hard. “You went into cardiac arrest twice while you were in the healing pod. Coran had to completely reconfigure it so you could heal.”

            “My eyes, they…”

            Lance let his voice trail off, the purple Galra lettering flickering in the corners of his vision. “We found them when we searched Lotor’s ship, but Coran said they can’t put them back. He said he has no idea how to disconnect the Galra tech in your eyes, let alone reattach your eyes. I’m so sorry,” Keith whispered.

            A sob broke through Lance’s chest, and he wished so hard he could cry. To his surprise, Keith scrambled over and wrapped his arms around Lance, holding him tight. “I wish I could change what Lotor did to you, I wish I could take it all on myself. I should’ve rescued you,” Keith said, his voice all rushed.

            Moisture sunk into Lance’s shirt, and he pushed back a little to see tears rolling down Keith’s face. “It’s all my fault Lance, if I just tried harder, you would’ve been safe.”

            “Hey, it’s ok,” Lance said.

            “No, you can hate me, because I know I would hate me.”

            “I don’t hate you Keith,” Lance said.

            He leaned forwards again, hugging Keith, then his stomach grumbled, loud. “C’mon, let’s get you fed," he said wiping his eyes with the end of his sleeve.

            Keith helped him to his feet. “Why are your clothes here?” Lance asked after he stood.

            There was the flush again, Keith looking embarrassed and rubbing the back of his neck. “I-I was staying in here, because-well I missed you. I couldn’t sleep…”

            “You missed me, oh you do have a heart,” Lance joked.

            “Back to your old self I see,” Keith said, but he gave Lance that sweet smile again, the one just for him.  “C’mon, food, then I’ll come back and clean.”

            The two boys left the room, the door swishing shut behind them.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello greetings I am alive and well. This fic isn't dead, but I am so sorry for leaving you all in a lurch. Not only did finals kick my butt (both literal and figurative) I had a fun wonderful writer's block settle on me and kick my butt. 
> 
> Also, since it's summer I'm working more and working 8 hour shifts is super draining. I am so so sorry this has taken so long for me to get out. Especially since this is nearing the end and I just basically left you all hanging. I love you all, my readers are so wonderful and patient with me. I hope you enjoy this chapter! (Also I rushed it a bit so there are going to be errors I am so sorry-again-).

Chapter 10.

 

            The days slipped by and Lance was getting sick of being treated like glass. He’d survived being captured, tortured, and losing his eyes; yet the paladins followed him like lost puppies.        

            Hunk kept making him food, feeding him until he was stuffed. Even Pidge kept an eye on him, following him around or sitting nearby while working on a piece of tech. Shiro checked up on him every morning, the only person who Lance barely saw was Keith.

            It was strange, especially how Keith had reacted when Lance woke up in his room. Once they arrived at the kitchen, Hunk had made Lance a huge dinner making sure he ate every bite. Distracted, Lance didn’t notice Keith disappear, but when he went back to his room to sleep, all of Keith’s clothes were gone.

            “Lance, Lance?” Hunk asked waving a hand in front of his face. “Are you ok?”

            Worry laced his voice, and shimmered in his eyes. “Yeah, just thinking.”

            “About what?”

            Hunk still had trouble meeting his eyes, clearly uncomfortable still with his Galra eyes. Lance didn’t blame him, he remembered shaking Shiro’s prosthetic Galra arm. It had made him nervous. “About Keith,” Lance said sighing. “He’s avoiding me.”

            “I’ve tried talking to him, but he just glares at me and leaves,” Hunk said. “I think he still feels guilty about leaving you.”

            “It wasn’t his fault! If it were me in his place, I would’ve left. There was no way he could fight an entire Galra battleship by himself.”

            “He doesn’t see that Lance. He sees that he abandoned you and then you….well Lotor,” Hunk said, his voice trailing off.

            The healing pod had removed some traces of his time under Lotor’s control, but he still had scars and the eyes. Coran was researching if there was a way for him to return Lance’s eyes, but he wasn’t keeping his hopes up. Eyes were delicate instruments, especially Earthling’s eyes and according to Coran he didn’t know enough about human anatomy to help. “It’s ok Hunk. I know, I’m ok really.”

            “Are you sure?”

            Lance hadn’t been sleeping much, it was difficult. He had nightmares now that his memories were returned. A timer dinged and Hunk turned to open the oven. “After these cool want to try my new cookie recipe?”

            “Sure, better than food goo. I can’t believe I actually missed food goo.”

            “You missed food goo?” Pidge’s voice came from behind him.

            Lance turned spotting the shorter green paladin coming into the kitchen. “Yeah, the Galra really know how to feed their prisoners,” Lance said half joking.

            A shadow fell over Pidge’s face. “I’m-I’m sorry Pidge, I didn’t mean…oh quiznak.”

            Matt and her Dad were still missing out there, even if Pidge had intel about Matt. “It’s ok Lance, I’m just happy to see you smile. It’s been very tense since you’ve been gone.”

            “Missed my charm?”

            “Always,” she retorted punching his shoulder. “What did you make Hunk? Is it edible this time?”

            “I am a culinary master.”

            “I’m pretty sure I gained like twenty pounds while you were gone. Stress baking is a horrible thing,” Pidge said watching the big man pull out a tray from the oven.

            “You didn’t have to eat everything I made.”

            “It was so good though.”

            Coran strolled in, apparently following his nose. He smiled when he saw Lance, but a sadness still flickered in his eyes. “Good to have you back boyo,” he said twirling the edges of his mustache in one gloved hand. “The castle was downright downtrodden, abysmal, miserable.”

            He sidled over to the tray of cookies, fingers twitching. When he reached out, Hunk swatted him with a spatula. “They’re not ready yet.”

            All this normalcy felt nice, better than the tip toeing around him that had been going on. “Are you sure? Alteans don’t burn the roofs of their mouths,” Coran said.

            “That’s not what you said the last time!”

            Lance smiled, resting his chin on the palm of his hand, elbow resting on the table. “You look happier,” Pidge commented settling into a chair next to him.

            “Things just need to get back to normal,” Lance said.

            Her small shoulders shrugged. “I don’t think we have a normal anymore. We’re a bunch of humans flying around a castle ship with two Alteans and fighting with giant mechanical lions. But it if its normal to you, then good.”

            She nudged his shoulder and pushed up her glasses. “You do care.”

            Making a face, Pidge rolled her eyes. “Of course I do, you’re like another brother to me.”

            Lance slung an arm around her shoulders. “I know,” he said squeezing her to his side.

            The cookies finally cooled and they all got to eat some. They almost tasted like snicker doodles, but not quite. Lance excused himself after eating half a dozen cookies saying he wanted to try and talk to Keith. “Good luck buddy,” Hunk said.

            It took Lance a while to search all of Keith’s haunts. He wasn’t on the training deck, the bridge, he even knocked on his door; nothing. Lance was about to give up when he spotted Shiro.  “Hey Shiro,” Lance said strolling up to the black paladin.

            Shiro smiled straightened, his eyes flickering to and from Lance’s eyes. “What’s up?”

            “Have you seen Keith? I can’t seem to find him,” Lance said.

            “The last time I saw him he was with Red.”

            “Thanks,” Lance said. “Also, how-how did you get used to your arm?”

            It was awkward, but they both had lost a body part to the Galra. “I’m still getting used to it,” Shiro replied reaching over to brush his fingers over the smooth metal. “Are your eyes doing ok?”

            Lance focused on the floor, his eyes zooming in on the material. “It’s weird, cause I can see better and zoom in an everything.”

            Shiro patted his shoulder. “It’ll get better.”

            Lance nodded and thanked him. Turning, he headed towards the hangar. He wanted to talk to the red paladin, find out what was going on.

            Blue rumbled in his mind when he entered the hangar. Heading over, he patted her foot, smiling up at her. “I heard you missed me,” he said chuckling.

            There were remaining damages from her tantrums, along with deep scratches etched in the hangar bay door. “I’m not going anywhere anymore,” he said.

            Purring rumbled in his mind, loud and reassuring. Patting her foot, he turned and headed towards the red lion. “Keith?” Lance called.

            Red stared straight ahead, poised. He walked around the hangar. “Red is he in the cockpit?” Lance asked.

            The red lion ignored him, and Blue chuckled in his mind. Sighing, Lance sat down on a crate and waited. Maybe he was there, maybe he wasn’t. It didn’t take long for him to grow bored and he laid back stretching his legs. Then Red shifted and opened her mouth, Keith walked out. “Lance?”

            “I was looking for you,” Lance said sitting up.

            “Oh…” Keith replied twisting his hands together.

            “You’ve been avoiding me,” Lance said, it was better to get it all out.

            A flush crept up Keith’s neck. “I-I’m sorry.”

            It was strange for Keith to act like this; shy and unsure of himself. “Are you ok?”

            His dark eyes were rimmed in red, purple shadows prominent under his eyes. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he replied. “Just doing a little bonding with Red.”

            He turned and patted her foot. Lance didn’t push it. “Blue must’ve missed me if the damage I saw was an indication.”

            “She was loud, Red complained to me all the time,” Keith said.

            He had relaxed, shifting onto a more comfortable topic. Keith peered at Lance, still unused to the mechanical eyes shifting, zooming in, glowing that soft purple. It was unnerving to him, and the others had agreed. Still, he was Lance and he’d gotten used to Shiro’s arm, so he could get used to Lance’s eyes. “Blue told me you had some nice conversations with her, trying to steal my lion again?” Lance asked leaning over to elbow Keith.

            Keith made a face and crossed his arms across his chest, typical Keith. “No, she was lonely and apparently no one else can talk to her,” he retorted but there was no venom in his voice.

            “Awe, Keith you do care,” Lance drawled draping an arm around Keith’s shoulders. “I’m glad you made Blue feel less lonely.”

            Keith turned his head and both boys realized just how close they were to each other. Red flared across both brown and pale skin and they hurriedly moved away from each other. Keith coughed a bit, fiddling with his jacket. “Uh well, I was going to go spar, want to join me?”

            “Sure.”

            It was an easy transition, any awkwardness broken and discarded between them. “Race you!” Lance yelled.

            The red paladin sprinted after the blue paladin yelling that it wasn’t fair his legs were longer.

 

+++

           

            Night had settled over the castle, everyone had gone to bed. Keith was tired after a long sparring session with Lance. He’d taught him more hand to hand combat, and the lanky blue paladin was pretty good at it. Keith had almost dropped off to sleep when he was abruptly woken by screaming coming from the walls; he knew it was Lance. Scrambling to his feet, he tugged on a shirt and ran out the door and to Lance’s next door. When the door swished open, the lights flickered on and Keith’s eyes widened. He was thrashing about, arching his back, blood curdling screams coming from his open mouth. “Lance, Lance,” Keith cried clutching his shoulders.

            Lance’s eyes snapped open, bright glowing purple. He growled and gripped Keith’s throat. “Who are you, what do you want with me?”

            “It’s me Keith, Lance!”

            Recognition flashed on Lance’s face and he let go, scrambling backwards, clutching his face. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

            He chanted it over and over. Keith slid next to Lance wrapping his arms around him. “Hey, calm down, it’s ok. You had a nightmare.”

            Sobs shook his shoulders and Lance shuddered clutching at the fabric of Keith’s shirt tight. They sat there, clutching at each other, Lance’s face buried in his shoulder. “Are you feeling any better?” Keith asked.

            “Stay with me, please,” Lance whispered. “I-I can’t be alone.”

            “Let’s get comfortable,” Keith said.

            It was a little bit of a tight fit on the bed, but Keith didn’t mind. Lance’s soft breaths fanned across his neck as he squeezed closer. “It’s ok Lance, I’m here,” Keith whispered.

            Slowly, slowly, Lance’s breathing evened out and he relax ed. Keith brushed a kiss across his forehead. “I’m so sorry.”

            Keith woke up first, a very warm body snuggled up against him. Lance was curled up under his chin, their legs tangled together. Heat flared on Keith’s face, they were so close. Lance stirred, his eyes fluttering open. Focusing, he looked up at Keith, the purple glow from his eyes reflecting off his shirt. “Hey,” Lance said his voice gravely with sleep.

            “Hey yourself,” Keith replied untangling himself and sitting back.

            “What-why are you here?” Lance asked heat flaring across his cheeks.

            “You had a nightmare and you didn’t want to be alone,” Keith said.

            He pushed his hair out of his eyes and turned to Lance worry in his chest. What if Lance didn’t like it. “Oh, I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry,” Lance said.

            “No, it’s ok. I didn’t mind,” Keith said a little unsure.

            Red flared across Lance’s cheeks and he fiddled with his fingers, shoulders turning inwards a little. “Can-can we continue then?”

            Keith titled his head a little to the side, then he understood, a smile curling on his lips. “Sure, only if you’re ok with it.”

            A soft chuckle erupted from his lips. “I wouldn’t have suggested it if I wasn’t.”

            Getting comfortable was more awkward this time. Lance wasn’t half awake and in a panic from a nightmare, but Keith didn’t care. They laid down on the narrow bed, limbs unsure. Lance was warm, his hands sliding over Keith’s waist, pulling him close. “Keith, thank you,” he murmured.

            “You’re welcome.”

            When Lance found his hand, curling his fingers around his, Keith’s heart nearly exploded. Fiddling a bit, he laced them together, squeezing gently. Both of them dozed off, needing the sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Also I wrote the nightmare scene like 3 months ago and I've been excited to actually fit into a chapter.)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello I'm alive and finally here with an update. I know it's been forever, and I thank you all for your patience. 
> 
> I want to thank everyone who's commented, left kudos, or even just read this fic. I really appreciate it. 
> 
> Onto the chapter! I hope you all enjoy.

Chapter 11.

 

            Lance told himself that Keith was helping him with his nightmares, nothing more. The fact that he’d spent the last week sleeping in his room wasn’t a sign he had feelings for him. None of the other paladins said a word when they discovered Keith was sleeping in Lance’s room. _‘I wonder if it was because he was staying in my room when I was gone,’_ Lance thought.

            Keith always left right after he woke up, mumbling a “I’ll see you at breakfast.”

            “Hey Hunk,” Lance said strolling over to the yellow paladin.

            “What’s up?”

            He was fiddling with something to help the yellow lion’s defenses. A smear of oil coated one cheek and his shirt sleeves were pushed back up on his powerful forearms. Lance slumped down next to him, draping his form over a box. “It’s about Keith.”

            “What about him?” Hunk asked a small smile curling on his lips.

            “Would he spend time with me if he didn’t like me?”

            “No, why?”

            Heat flared across Lance’s cheeks. “I dunno,” he said fiddling with the edges of his jacket.

            His mind brought up the memories of this morning when Lance woke up, Keith was still asleep. He was curled into Lance, soft black hair tickling Lance’s chin. His arms wrapped tight around Lance’s waist. Keith was clingy in his sleep, but always stammered a sorry when he woke. “You’re blushing, do you like Keith?” Hunk drawled breaking him of his thoughts.

            “Uh,” Lance stammered twiddling his fingers. “Maybe, I don’t know. The only reason he stays with me is because I keep having nightmares.”

            “Are you sure?” Hunk said.

            “Sure about what?” Pidge asked.

            Lance jolted. “Stop doing that!” he said glaring at the green paladin.

            She simply grinned her eyes glinting behind her glasses. “Spill.”

            “Lance likes Keith.”

            Pidge rolled her eyes and settled next to the blue paladin. “Duh, of course you do.”

            Lance sputtered panic rising in his chest. “What do you mean of course, am I that obvious?”

            “You both are. Do you know how he was like when you were gone?”

            Hunk’s shoulders tensed, his gaze sad. “No, no one told me.”

            “He was a wreck. Barely slept or ate. Even Shiro couldn’t help,” Hunk said.

            Pidge fiddled with her glasses, her mouth set at a thin line. “If he didn’t care for you Lance he wouldn’t have reacted like that.”

            Guilt slowly filled Lance’s chest. He knew Keith had felt bad about leaving him, and he thought Lance should hate him. It was a lot worse than he thought. “I didn’t bring it up to make you feel bad Lance, just-don’t doubt his feelings. Keith cares a lot about you,” Pidge said.

            She scooched over and leaned against Lance. “I don’t want you to do that ever again either. I’m done with losing people.”

            Lance smiled and slid his arm around the green paladin’s shoulders, squeezing gently. “I can’t make any promises, but I’ll try.”

            “Good. So, what are you going do to?”

            “About what?”

            “Your feelings for Keith?”

            Lance knew he was a flirt, it was fun; but he’d never actually really dated anyone. Sure he’d had crushes, but this was more. “I-I don’t know.”

            “Why don’t you just tell him how you feel,” Hunk said.

            “I don’t know how I feel about him.”

            “Yes you do, you’re just ignoring it,” Pidge said with a shrug.

            “Fine,” Lance replied pouting. “I’m gonna go find Keith.”

            “Good for you, tell him.”

            Lance got to his feet careful of Pidge and left the hangar.

            It took him longer than he thought to find the red paladin. By the time he found Keith, he was doubting his nerves. It wasn’t easy to say he liked Keith, especially after learning how he was when Lance was kidnapped. _‘It’s now or never,’_ Lance thought.

            Keith was sitting in the common room reading a holobook. “Hey,” Lance said.

            His nerves were making things difficult, large butterflies flapping around in his stomach. “Hey Lance, did you need something?” Keith asked.

            “Was just-uh wanting to spar,” Lance said nervously hitting his thigh with a fist.

            “Sure,” Keith said. “Are you ok?”

            “Yeah fine,” Lance replied smiling. “Just dandy.”

            “Ok, meet me on the training deck with your paladin armor.”

            Ten minutes later, Lance met Keith on the training deck with his bayard. “Want to work on hand to hand combat?”

            Knowing his skills lay with long range combat, he nodded. It would be good to improve close combat. _‘Especially if Keith got hurt and I had to protect him.’_

            That made a soft ache open up in his chest. “Ready?”

            Lance nodded. Keith tried to land a punch, Lance blocking it. “Good, your left side is a little weak.”

            Going toe to toe with Keith was fun, neither of them tried really that hard, focusing on strength and improvement. When Keith cut his legs from out of him, Lance hit the floor hard. “Omf.”

            “You ok?” Keith asked peering down at him.

            “Yeah, fine,” Lance replied taking the hand Keith extended down to him.

            “Ready to go again?”

            Lance grinned and nodded. Getting into a defensive stance, he swung a fist at Keith, ready to take him down.

            Both boys were sweaty and tired after sparring. “You’re getting better,” Keith said.

            “You think?”

            Keith leaned over and bumped Lance’s shoulder. “Yeah, keep it up and you’ll be sent in instead of me.”

            “I prefer being the sharpshooter,” Lance said bumping Keith’s shoulder back and giving him a single-handed finger gun. “Who’s going to watch your back.”

            “You’re right,” Keith said.

            “I’m gonna go shower, see you.”

            Keith almost looked like he wanted to say something. Lance had pushed back his decision to tell Keith how he felt. They had a good friendship now, less fighting; to ruin it would just not be worth it. “See you.”

            After his shower, Lance decided to go visit Blue. Since he’d gotten back, he’d barely seen her. She’d sent him love through their bond when he returned, but he’d been getting back into the hang of things and dealing with Coran doing medical tests on his eyes.

He’d missed her constant purring and warmth. She sent him comfort and also reprimand him for getting kidnapped. “I’m sorry beautiful,” Lance said settling into his seat.

            She purred loud in his mind. _‘Be more careful in the future my paladin,’_ Blue said.

            He brushed his fingers over her command bars, and leaned back. “I will.”

            _‘Something is bothering you my paladin.’_

            “I think I like Keith, but I don’t know. I didn’t want him to suffer so much when I was kidnapped,” Lance said.

            Blue purred even louder, sending comfort through their bond. “I’m afraid.”

            _‘It is ok to be afraid. Fear isn’t something to be ashamed of. My former paladin feared the dark.’_

            “I don’t know, I just-I just don’t want to lose Keith. We’re paladins of Voltron, danger is part of the job description. What if-what if I lose him.”

            The warmth and comfort increased from Blue, her voice loud in his mind. _‘It is part of living.’_

            Lance curled up in his seat, wondering if he should just get it over with and tell Keith how he felt. Deciding to think about it later, he spent hours telling stories to Blue. He’d missed her comfort, it was nice. _‘The red paladin approaches.’_

            Keith walked into the hangar bay, looking around. He looked up at Blue a small smile curling on his lips. “Blue is Lance here?”

            She opened her mouth and Lance strolled out. “Doing some bonding, this beauty needed reassurance I wouldn’t disappear.”

            The small smile fell from Keith’s lips, worry flashing in his eyes. “I was just wondering if you wanted to get something to eat. Hunk made something that almost looks like pie.”

            “Sure, sounds good.”

            They fell into a comfortable silence; the only sounds were the castle and their shoes. Lance noticed how close Keith walked next to him, their hands almost brushing. _‘I wonder what he’d think if I took his hand.’_

Lance didn’t know that Keith thought the same.

Shiro was in the kitchen when they arrived, along with Pidge. “Beat us to the pie already,” Keith grumbled.

“There’s plenty left,” Pidge said. “It tastes almost exactly like apple pie.”

“It’s so good,” Shiro said taking another bite.

            “Where’s Hunk?” Lance asked going to over to cut a piece of Keith and himself.

            “Grabbing more ingredients. Apparently, he wants to try cherry pie,” Pidge said.

            “My favorite,” Keith said.

            Lance noted that down. “Hopefully he can, my mom made the best cherry pie,” Pidge said.

            Her voice broke a little and she blinked rapidly, her eyes oddly glassy. Lance instinctively walked over and slid his arm over her shoulders squeezing. “You’ll have your mom’s cherry pie again,” he murmured

            Pidge swiped at her eyes a few times. “Thanks Lance.”

            He knew what it was like to miss family and none of them got to even say goodbye. “What do we have here?” Coran asked strolling in through the door.

            “It’s not completely right, but apple pie,” Shiro said. “Want some?”

            Coran twisted his mustache, curiosity flashing in his eyes. “Of course, I do. Your Earthling customs are quite fascinating.”

            Keith cut another slice, sliding it on to a plate. “Here,” he said handing the plate and Altean equivalent of a fork to Coran.

            “I think I found the ingredient I was missing Pidge, “Hunk said coming back into the kitchen. “Hey, more people to test with.”

            When Lance took a bite of his pie, it tasted like apple pie, just a bit wrong on texture. “You’re so close,” he said

            “Shiro thought so too.”

            “This is quite good,” Coran commented. “Reminds me of an Altean delicacy called knarmran.”

            Pidge perked up. She was always wanting to learn more about Altea. “What was it made out?” she asked.

            Coran launched into how knarmran was made and the paladins listened while eating. Lance enjoyed a bit more normal.

            The day slipped away. The team training had went well, Lance was able to shoot better with his eyes. He wanted to talk to Shiro more about getting adjusted to the Galra tech, but Allura had pulled him away to discuss their future plans against the Galra.

            He was exhausted and ready to sleep after training. Keith followed him down the hallway. “I’m gonna shower first,” Keith said slipping off his paladin helmet. “Meet you in your room?”

            “Yeah.”

            Keith glanced at him, figuring Lance was tired. They separated when they got to Keith’s room and Lance opened the door. Closing his eyes, he could still see a bit through his eyelids. Keith never complained about the light, but Lance worried it was a problem.

            The shower felt good, hot water soaking into his hair. After cleaning up, he got into pj’s and waited for Keith to show.

            A soft knock and a whispered Lance. “Come in.”

            The door swished open and Keith walked in. “Still deciding to sleep in your clothes?” Lance asked.

            “They’re comfortable.”

            “You have lion pj’s too.”

            Hunk had found his, bright yellow ones that fit him perfectly, so did Pidge. None of them thought about the fact that the castle had clothes in their sizes. “I feel weird wearing them,” Keith said.

            “C’mon, I’m tired,” Lance said getting into bed.

            The bed was still too small, but Keith never complained. Climbing into bed, Keith scooched closer draping an arm around Lance’s waist. Lance tried not to think of the way his heart raced or how hard it was to breath all of a sudden. He tried to relax and go to sleep. “Nite Lance.”

            “Good night.”

            The exhaustion from training helped him get to sleep and Lance drifted off.

Lance woke to Keith thrashing in his sleep. “No, please, don’t take him,” Keith pleaded.

            Tears leaked down his cheeks his breathing uneven. “Keith, hey, it’s ok. It’s a dream,” Lance said gently shaking him.

            It took a minute or two, but Keith’s eyes snapped open. He gasped, more tears spilling down his cheeks. “Lance, you’re-you’re here.”

            “Yeah, I’m here. I’m fine.” Lance cupped Keith’s face, thumbs brushing away the tears. “Breath with me, it’s ok.”

            Keith took a shuddery breath, then another. Sliding his arms around Lance’s waist, he pulled the blue paladin close. “I lost you, you were found too late. You were dead.”

            Lance moved his hands downwards, resting them on Keith’s chest. “I’m not dead.”

            It took almost an hour to calm Keith, to where his body didn’t shake and his breath evened out. “Do you want to go back to sleep now?” Lance asked, his voice soft.

            “Mmmm,” Keith hummed.

            His head was resting on Lance’s chest, ear pressed against to listen to Lance’s heartbeat. “Close your eyes,” Lance said brushing his fingers through Keith’s hair.

            It was soft, the strands falling through his fingers. They had repositioned, legs tangled together, Keith curled around Lance’s side. Lance waited for Keith to fall asleep, waited for the steady breathing. When it came, Lance let himself fall asleep.

 

+++

 

 

            A loud blaring woke the two paladins from their slumber, Keith grumbling under his breath. “Attention paladins, we have received an urgent distress call from a nearby planet. Get dressed and to your lions,” Allura commanded over the com.

            “Five more minutes,” Lance muttered snuggling closer to Keith.

            “C’mon Lance,” Keith said.

            The two untangled themselves and got up. Keith rubbed sleep out of his eyes, his hair falling in his face. “Mmmm here,” Lance said reaching over to push the hair out of Keith’s face.

            Realizing what he did, Lance’s cheeks flushed and he pulled his hand away. “Sorry,” he muttered.

            “No-no its ok, thanks.”

            The awkwardness continued even when they got into their armor and headed to their lions. Lance had a sudden urge to hug Keith, worry clenching his heart. “Stay safe,” he whispered.

            Keith barely heard him, but he smiled swallowing the nerves. “You too.”

            The other paladins felt their awkwardness through the bond. “Are you ok buddy?” Hunk asked popping up a holo window while he flew Blue.

            “Yeah, fine.”

            “Ok.”

            Hunk didn’t sound like he believed Lance, but they had to focus on the distress beacon.

            The planet they landed on was dry and desert-like. Massive mountains rose in the distance, rolling sand dunes littering the ground in front of them. Their lions rose particle barriers when the paladins walked out. “Ok, let’s head out,” Shiro said.

            Hunk held the tracking device out. “This way.”

            They began the long trek. It was hot, the dual suns beating down on the planet’s surface. Sweat trickled down the back of Lance’s neck, his black under armor clinging to his skin. “Why couldn’t we find a nicer planet,” Hunk whined.

            “We’re here to help,” Keith snapped.

            Sweat dripped down his nose. “I thought these suits had like air conditioning or something,” Lance said.

            “I think they’re more suited for space,” Pidge said. “I’ve looked over the tech.”

            “Then why did they work just fine when me and Hunk got trapped on the water mermaid world?” Lance asked.

            Pidge just shrugged. “Dunno.”

            “We’re almost here,” Hunk said.

            Shiro laid out the plan since the paladins were close. Keith and Lance were to do recon, scouting the area for Galra droids. Hunk and Pidge were to locate any of the citizens and make sure they got to safety before engaging in the Galra.

            They continued over a small hill, a sprawling stone city lay before them. “Let’s go samurai,” Lance said pulling out his bayard rifle.

            “After you sharpshooter,” Keith drawled giving him a mocking bow.

            “Let’s go you two,” Shiro said hiding a small smile.

            They headed into the city. The streets were fairly quiet, a hot breeze ruffling cloth hanging from the stone balconies. They found Galra soldiers, battle droids waiting for them. “Surrender.”

            “Not a chance,” Lance said. “Want to do the honors?”

            It felt good to fight together, Keith taking down the droids and Lance scouting any that got away. They continued further and further into the city. More battle drones popped up and Lance was supposed to be watching Keith’s back, but he was caught up taking down some drones. The stone city was a maze and Keith had insisted on going ahead. “Keith get back here!”

            “I’m just going to scout a head, I’ll be right back,” Keith said over the com.

            Lance fired shots at the rest of the droids and hurried after the red paladin. Something wasn’t right. There was no one here in the city. The streets were empty, almost like it was a trap. A thread of fear slid down Lance’s spine and his hands tightened on his bayard rifle.

            His steps were careful, swinging his rifle around as he turned the corner. Sliced up droids littered the area, Keith grinning. “See I told you!”

            “Keith look out!” Lance called when he saw a hooded figure leap out of one of the doorways.

            A sword extended from the cloak sliding up to Keith’s neck. Gripping Keith’s arm, he forced the bayard sword out of his hand. Keith struggled, knocking his head backwards, the hood falling and showing who was behind it. “Lotor,” Lance whispered.

            Lotor grinned showing off his teeth. “I found you.”

            His words snaked around Lance, slippery and it made Lance’s hands shake. He trained his bayard rifle at Lotor, watching as he gripped Keith. “If you want the red paladin to survive, come to me.”

           The sword Lotor held dug into Keith’s neck, a thin line of blood seeping out. He didn’t know what to do. “Lance, no please.” Tears filled Keith’s eyes and dripped down his cheeks. “Don’t go back to Lotor, I can’t bear it.”

            _‘What do I do?’_

            “My patience is wearing thin paladin.”

            Another line of blood seeped out as Lotor dug his sword into Keith’s neck. “Fine.”

            His bayard flashed back into its non-weapon form. “No Lance!”

            Keith tried to struggle, a scream erupting from his throat. “I won’t let you go back to him!”

            Lance walked towards Lotor, head hung low.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Look I actually updated sooner than I thought. I'm trying to get this fic to the end. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who commented, left kudos, or just even read this. I never expected it to get this much attention really and it really helps me keep up the desire to write and make more content. Thank you to all my lovely and amazing readers <3.
> 
> Enjoy!

Chapter 12.

 

            The distance to Lotor seemed to stretch out for a few moments, then he was standing in front of them. “You win,” Lance said his voice monotone.

            A predatory grin unfurled on Lotor’s face, eyes gleaming. “My treasure is mine again.”

            It was hard to ignore Keith’s cries or the way he struggled against the stronger man. Keith’s eyes reflected pain and anguish, red rimmed, tears dripping down his cheeks. “You said you’d let him go,” Lance said.

            Twisting the sword around, he knocked Keith upside the head with the butt of his sword. “Lance,” Keith whispered, his eyes falling shut, he slumped to the ground.

            “That I did,” Lotor said sheathing his sword.

            He held a hand out to Lance, a small smirk curling on his lips. “Shall we?”

            Lance stared at the hand, glancing down to the unconscious red paladin on the ground. A deep ache filled his chest, then anger; deep and boiling. “No.”

            “No?” Lotor asked his voice a mixture of anger and surprise.

            Lance wasn’t going to go back to being a mindless toy for him. With one swift movement he extended his bayard and shot. Lotor barely had time to blink, his eyes widening a fraction; then he slumped to the ground. Blood oozed out of the hole in between his eyes, dripping onto his clothes. “You will never have me again,” Lance said. “I was never yours.”

            He put away his bayard, and knelt down in front of Keith pulling him into his lap. Brushing away the hair that fell into his eyes, Lance sighed. The blood on his neck was drying, and although the cuts were small, guilt still weighed heavy on his chest. “I’m sorry,” Lance said.

            Lance knew he should radio the other paladins and let them know what happened, but he was content to sit there with the red paladin in his lap.

            After a while, he stirred violet eyes fluttering. Keith saw Lance above him, felt his arms encircling him even through the paladin armor. “What-what happened?” Keith asked confusion clouding his voice. “I thought-you were…”

            Keith followed Lance’s gaze, falling on the still figure of the half Galra laying nearby. “I took out Lotor,” Lance said.

            There was an emptiness to Lance’s voice that Keith didn’t like. “I’ll try to remember this bonding moment,” Keith said with a dry chuckle. “Unlike someone I know.”

            “I’m sorry.”

            Keith reached up and brushed his gloved fingers against Lance’s face. “I was stupid to get ahead, we’re a team.”

            “How does your head feel?”

            “Hurts, but I’ll survive.”

            Lance helped Keith to his feet and he pressed the com. “Lance here, uh we have an update.”

            “Good, there you are. You’ve been unresponsive, we’ve been trying to find you!” Hunk said panic clear in his voice. “What happened!”

            “Yeah I couldn’t get a clear signal from your armor either,” Pidge piped up.

            “Meet us outside the city, then you can explain,” Shiro said.

            “Okay,” Lance said.

            The two paladins walked back out of the city. Lance hovered close, wanting to help. “Lance I just have a bump, I’m fine.”

            “Yeah and you need those cuts looked at,” Lance said. “Who knows how dirty that sword was,” Lance retorted curling his lip.

            “Alright Lance.”

            The other paladins were waiting for them. Hunk was pacing back and forth muttering things to himself. Pidge was trying to comfort him, stumbling over her words. When Hunk saw them, he ran over and wrapped his arms around Lance. “What happened! You were gone!”

            Keith smiled, watching as Lance stammered a reply. “We’d like a full report,” Shiro said.

            “We were checking out the area, and I, uh I got a little ahead. Lotor was waiting for us, it was a trap,” Keith said sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. “He got me and threatened me to get to Lance.”

            Hunk had put Lance down now, the blue paladin stiffening. “Lance agreed to go with him and I got knocked out by Lotor.”

            Lance’s hands curled into fists, his shoulders bowed. “I-I killed him. Shot him in the head.”

            This wasn’t Lance’s normal voice, it was devoid of feeling, empty. “It was to protect me and I didn’t want you to go back to him.”

            Hunk’s expression went from worried to upset. He settled a hand on Lance’s shoulder. “It was for the best, you have good judgment Lance.”

            “I’m glad you’re safe Lance,” Pidge said. “You too Keith.”

            “He’s got a few cuts on his throat and a bump on his head, he’s not exactly injury free,” Lance said, again his voice monotone and flat. “Are we finished here?”

            “Yeah,” Pidge said worry in her eyes. “Me and Hunk got the information we needed.”

            “Ok, let’s go.”

            Lance turned and began walking the direction back towards where the lions were. “Is he ok?” Pidge asked turning to Keith.

            Worry flickered in his eyes and he shook his head. “I don’t know.”

            Blue purred loudly when he climbed into his seat. She tried to comfort him as best as she could. _‘I will protect you my paladin,’_ she said.

            It was nice and it did help, but Lance still couldn’t get the image of killing Lotor out of his mind.

            The other paladins got into their lions and headed back to the castle.

 

+++

           

            Several days passed and everyone noticed the blue paladin was mysteriously absent. He’d come out for training and team meals; but otherwise it was difficult to find him. Hunk always checked Blue first. She never did listen to him, she was silent. Yellow always chuckled in his mind when he tried to talk to Blue.

            “Have you seen Lance?” Hunk asked peeking into Pidge’s work room.

            She was hunched over some new piece of tech when he came in. “No, saw him a few hours ago though.”

            Hunk sighed and turned around, leaving Pidge in peace. He wasn’t in his rooms or at least he didn’t answer the door bell when Hunk rang it. “Hey Keith, have you seen Lance?”

            “No, I’m worried,” Keith said. “He hasn’t been the same since the last mission.”

            Lance hadn’t come at night and he was worried he was having nightmares again. “Want to help me find him?”

            “Did you check Blue?” Keith offered.

            “If he was in there, Blue didn’t open her mouth.”

            “Stubborn, like her paladin.”

            The two walked towards the bridge. Coran was looking over some star maps, flipping through the holo map. “Greetings paladins, what can I do for you?”  
            “Have you seen Lance?”

            “No, I haven’t sorry. He’s been scarce hasn’t he.”

            “Yeah, I’m worried,” Hunk said.

            “He just needs some down time, Lance will come around, don’t you worry,” Coran said flashing him a bright smile and clapping a hand on Hunk’s shoulder.

            Lance curled up tighter in his seat in Blue. He’d seen Keith come look for him, but he didn’t want to talk to him. He wanted to stay in Blue, she comforted him. _‘The red paladin can give comfort, he is your friend my paladin.’_

            “I just can’t, I’m-I’m…” he started.

            Blue purred cutting him off, sending comfort and warmth through their bond. She refused to allow her paladin to go there. He was hers and she loved him more than any paladin before. “Paladins, it is time for training, please meet in the training room in full paladin gear,” Allura said over the coms.

            _‘Go, you are needed.’_

            Lance nodded and got to his feet. She purred in his mind telling him she’d always be there for him. It did help a little, but not enough.

            As usual, he was the last to arrive. “There you are,” Hunk said reaching over to wrap an arm around his shoulders. “I’ve been looking all over for you. Thought you’d like to bake some cookies together.”

            “Yeah, that sounds good, how about after training?”

            “You got it.”

            Allura stood in front of them, hands on her hips. “Good you’re all here. We’re going to work on team pairing training today. Switching off between groups and taking on battle droids. Pidge and Hunk, you’re first.”

            He watched the two fight, using their strengths to take down the droids. Allura called out help from the watch tower above. “Lance you and Shiro are up next.”

            Lance stared at his bayard. It was tied to death, he’d killed someone. “Lance are you ok?” Hunk asked trotting over after his training with Pidge.

            “Right-yeah.”

            The training went terrible, Lance missed half the shots, which was unlike him. Keith watched him, trying to figure out what happened. All Lance could think of was the way he’d just shot Lotor. Not let him go, not taken him captive; no Lance killed him. In cold blood; he just couldn’t get over that.

            “Hey you ok?” Keith asked.

            “Just peachy. I need to talk to Coran about something,” Lance said.

            He turned and left the red paladin staring after him in confusion.

            The castle seemed too big, too sterile. Lance missed the sounds of earth, the birds chirping, the sound of wind through the trees. When he reached the bridge, he spotted Coran. “Hello, my boy, how are you?”

            Lance pulled his paladin helmet off, settling it under his arm. “Coran, did you-did you ever kill anyone?” Lance asked.

            Something flickered in the orange haired man’s gaze. A sadness that was almost had to catch. Folding his hands behind his back, Coran straightened himself. “Yes, my boy. I did. I’m no proud of it, no one should. Is this about Lotor?”

            Lance’s shoulder’s slumped and he cradled his helmet in his hands. “I feel so wrong now Coran, like I did a terrible thing. All I could think of was that I didn’t want to go back to the torture, the mindlessness that he had me under.”

            Coran’s eyes turned glassy, a frown marring his normal sunny disposition. “I wish I could’ve protected you from killing Lance,” he said. “But it’s an unfortunate side effect of war.”

            “How do you stay so you?”

            A sad smile curled on the older man’s face. “I don’t forget the killing I’ve done-no. I simply focus on the better times. I protected my family once and Lance my boy I’d do it again.”

            Lance set his helmet on the chair nearby and wrapped his arms around Coran. “Thanks,” Lance said his voice breaking a little.

            Coran stiffened for a moment, then curled around and hugged the blue paladin back. It was almost like getting a hug from his dad or one of his uncles.

            Lance let go first, stepping back. “Thanks Coran.”

            “You’re welcome, any time. You know-I see you as a son I never had,” Coran said. “I wasn’t sure at first, you Earthlings are so strange, but I see all of you as my family.”

            It made something warm sink into Lance’s chest. Family, it was nice hearing he was part of one again. “I’m gonna go sleep, all that training made me tired.”

            Before he could get back to his room, Hunk stopped him. “Hey where did you go after training, I thought we were going to bake cookies together?”

            It was almost impossible to ignore Hunk’s puppy eyes. “Let me change and we’ll head to the kitchens.”

            Being a hermit didn’t suit Lance, and he was glad he had such a good friend to pull him out. The other paladins ended up in the kitchen too, insisting that Hunk’s food was too good to pass up.

            It was late after they all cleaned up the kitchen. Lance’s stomach was full of cookies and he was ready for bed. _‘I hope I can sleep tonight.’_

            The nightmares had come back again, but he didn’t have Keith to help and he refused to ask him, not wanting to be a bother. Lance got dressed in his pj’s only to find he was out of his face mask stuff. “Gotta make more,” he muttered washing his face instead.

            Climbing into bed, Lance spent the next hour tossing and turning before falling into an uneasy sleep.

            Lance was back on the planet, Lotor in front of him. Keith was struggling, calling out his name. The only problem was there was no sound, nothing. Tears rolled down the red paladin’s cheeks mingling with the blood that slid down his throat. “You win.”

            Lotor smiled, that smile that made a shiver go down his spine, then he bit his sword deep into Keith’s neck. Blood dripped down, flowing cross the red v on his armor. “You promised!” Lance screamed.

            Keith dropped to the ground, violet eyes staring unseeing. “YOU SAID YOU’D LET HIM GO!” Lance roared.

            There was a ringing in his ears, Lotor’s lips moving but no sound still. The anger was there, the boiling rolling fury that engulfed him. Pulling out his bayard, he shot at Lotor. Then he shot again and again, making sure he was dead.

            Then did Lance sink to his knees, leaning over Keith. “No, no,” he sobbed.

            There was no pulse. “I can’t lose you!”

            He was shaken, then his eyes snapped open, shooting up in bed. Lance was in his bedroom and Keith was next to him, shaking him. “It was a dream,” Keith said.

            “No, you died-I saw you, he-he, it was my fault. You died because of me and I killed Lotor.”

            “Lance, Lance no, it’s not your fault,” Keith said.

            “I shot him, I killed him, I’m a murderer,” Lance said his shoulder shaking.

            “Lotor was evil, he deserved it.”

            Reaching over, Keith cupped Lance's face gently, gently brushing this thumbs across his cheek. His skin was just as soft as Keith always imagined. Lance leaned in wrapping his arms around him. It was easy for Keith slide his hands around his neck, letting Lance hold him tight.

            They sat there hugging for a while, Keith didn’t mind. When Lance let go and leaned back he quirked a little smile, it was a sad smile. There were no tears, but anguish was still clear on his face. "I'm-I'm gonna go wash my face,” Lance said.

            Keith nodded and the blue paladin untangled himself from him and headed into the bathroom. Sitting there, Keith curled his hands into fists. He wanted to do more than hug Lance, but he just wasn’t sure it was the right time.

            The cold water felt good on Lance’s face, but he mainly went there to try and get his emotions under control. A soft sob left his throat, and the desire to be able to cry made a hole open in his chest. No one looked good after crying, but Lance still missed the way it helped wash away his emotions.

            Hugging Keith felt so good, grounding him. Lance patted his face dry, his strange Galra eyes staring back at him. 

            Keith was still sitting in the same spot when he walked out of the bathroom. His violet gaze focused on him, a small smile curling up on his lips. “Keith, I’m sorry.”

            “For what?”

            “For being a mess and waking you up."

            “It’s ok, it helped you feel better.”

            Keith reached over and grabbed Lance’s hands pulling him down on the bed. “You have feelings Lance, bottling them up is not healthy, and I know-I know you can't cry anymore, but I don't want you to go this alone.”

            The memory of finding Keith sobbing in his room after Shiro disappeared flashed in Lance’s mind. He remembered hugging Keith, but knowing he couldn’t fix it. “Lance, you aren’t a murderer. How do we know that he wouldn’t have erased your memories again,” Keith said, then he paused and swallowed hard. “I-I couldn’t lose you again. I barely could deal with losing you the first time.”

            His voice had lowered in volume until it was a whisper. One of Keith’s hands let go of his hand, reaching up to cup Lance’s cheek. “I think I had these feelings for a while, but I didn’t-I didn’t realize them fully until you were gone,” Keith said his voice cracking.

            The two boys didn’t realize they’d gravitated until their noses bumped together. “Can-can I kiss you?” Keith breathed.

            “Yeah.”

            Leaning forward, he pressed his lips against Lance’s. It was soft and unsure, lips pressing together. Lance reached up and gripped Keith’s shirt, pulling him closer. Their noses bumped together until Lance turned his head, their lips slotting together. Heat filled his chest, flaring when Keith’s hands encircled his waist, brushing warm fingers under his shirt.

            It was Keith who gently bit down on Lance’s lower lip making him gasp. Licking the pain away, Keith deepened the kiss, their teeth knocking together. It was awkward and it took a little bit to get things comfortable.

            When Lance leaned back and breaking the kiss, he gasped a little for air. He’d ended up tangling his hands in Keith’s hair, the dark locks soft in his fingers. “I’ve wanted to do that for ages,” Keith whispered.

            Leaning forward, Lance pressed their foreheads together. “Yeah.”

            “Can I stay here?” Keith asked.

            “Yeah, I kind of missed our cuddle session,” Lance said.

            Keith pulled off his boots and Lance pulled back the covers. “Can I kiss you goodnight?” Keith asked after they got comfortable.

            “Yeah.”

            The soft press of lips was nice, so was the arm that snaked around Lance’s waist pulling him close. Their legs tangled together and Keith kissed his hair. “Goodnight Lance.”

            “Good night Keith.”

 

(ETA: so as a writer I somehow forgot that Lance doesn't have his eyes. I fixed it, but I still feel like an idiot for forgetting, I'm sorry to all my readers who were like wait a tic this is wrong.) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All it took was 12 ch for a kiss. Finally hah.


End file.
